My girlfriend is pregnant and scared about what to do. We both are financially stable and plan to get married. Her parents come from a very conservative religious background, so she is very scared to tell them. She is worried about how disappointment they will feel, and that her parents will feel shame and get shunned from their community.
I come from a very liberal background, so I am having a hard time relating to this. I do want to keep the baby, but more than anything - I want her to be happy. I was hoping some people who come from a similar situation may be able to give us some advice. If anyone gave up their child because of their family's religious views? Also - even though I know she is very torn, she thinks she will be able to move on from this. So I wonder how many birth parents feel years later - what makes them feel good about their decision, and what regrets they may have?
Is there a way that she can talk to some birth mothers on the phone maybe? Would that be through this forum, or are there other places where I can look?
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I appreciate any feedback.
Hi Sam! I know I'm several months out here - maybe too late! - but I saw your post tonight and thought I'd put in my two bits.
I'm not a birth mom, but I know several wonderful birth moms, and I will tell you that, judging from their experiences, you and your girlfriend will only have peace about this decision if you do what YOU believe is best. Placing a baby for adoption based on other people's beliefs will only result in heartache and regret.
Placing a child for adoption is an EXTREMELY difficult thing to do with life-long consequences for you and the child. It is a decision that should only be made after much soul-searching - and I would strongly recommend consulting with a therapist as well.
I hope all is well with you both and that you have been able to find support along your journey!
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Hi Sam,
Hopefully you have the opportunity to see this. I am a birth mother who placed 18 months ago. It has been a very mixed bag for me, but overall it has been very positive. I have an open adoption, which means I still have contact with my birth daughter and her adoptive family. I am more than happy to chat and link you with some resources, as well as answer any questions you may have.