FINDING MIGHT NOT ALWAYS BE THE BEST THING

Denalee,Have you asked her whether she regrets the reunion? The reunion may bring up negative emotions from the past but she may grow stronger as a person by dealing with them now. It depends on whether or not she deals with the past in a healthy way. Counseling may be very helpful although I must say that it is important to find a counselor who has understanding of and experience with adoption issues. To often birth parents have been told to "just get over it."I have been in reunion with my birth son for 12 years. Overall it has been a very positive experience for me. (I just spent a couple days with them and met my new great-grand daughter for the first time.) I have a good relationship with both my son and his parents and I love watching my grandchildren grow up. All that said, reunion has brought up a lot of emotions and issues I thought I'd already dealt with. I think the regret is even greater. (I can't imagine how I'd feel if I discovered he'd been abused or had parents who mistreated him.) There are sad days and depressing days, but overall the joy of knowing where he is and knowing that he wants me to be part of his and his families lives far outweighs the negatives. I always try to focus on the love!Blessings,Kathy