Adoption before birth

Kelly:You cannot adopt a child before he/she is born. That's the case all over the U.S. and in most countries of the world.The reason is simple. Many pregnant women think that they may want to place their babies for adoption, but change their minds after delivery, once they have held their beautiful children in their arms. And many women discover, when they give birth, that they have a better social support system than they realized or that they really want to make parenting work. A young single woman's parents, who were angry about her unplanned pregnancy, may decide that, after all, they want to be the baby's grandparents and, as a result, will help their daughter support and raise the child. Another single woman may discover that her boyfriend really wants to marry her. A married couple may decide that, despite their financial situation, they will "dig deep" and make parenting a child work for them. A couple whose child was actually taken from them in the hospital because the baby was born addicted may take that as a "wakeup call" to get sober and get their lives on track.Every state in the U.S. has laws regarding how soon after giving birth a woman can consent to relinquishing the child for adoption. In some states, it may be only 48 hours, just enough time to get pain medications out of her system and to rest from the delivery. In others, it may be up to 30 days. And, of course, in all adoptions, the biological father must also consent to relinquishment and, if he is unknown, the law may require publication of a notice in the newspaper, or some other means of giving him the opportunity to seek custody. At least in some states, birthfather consent can be obtained before birth.No woman should ever be coerced into relinquishing because of things she said before delivery. And no woman should ever be put in a position where she feels obligated to relinquish because a prospective adoptive family gives her gifts or money, and then gets angry when she decides not to relinquish after all. That is why courts generally allow prospective adoptive parents to pay only certain specific, essential adoption expenses for a pregnant woman considering relinquishment. As an example, if she has no way to get to doctor appointments, they can pay for round trip cab service for those trips. If she cannot afford medical care and does not qualify for Medicaid, the prospective adoptive parents can pay for her prenatal care and delivery. But they cannot buy her a car, take her to Disney World, etc. And federal law does not allow a woman from overseas to come to the U.S. for the purpose of giving birth and placing her baby for adoption. Sadly, some agencies and families had been taking women away from their social support system and everything familiar, then confiscating their passports and not paying their bills if they decided to keep their babies. The women, often uneducated, non-English speaking, and unfamiliar with American laws, were afraid of contacting the police and sometimes relinquished simply to get their passports and a ticket back to their home country.If you use a good agency or attorney, for a domestic adoption, you will be given some paperwork to do before a child is born. But the pregnant woman cannot officially relinquish until she has delivered and had time to consider her decision. And then, many states require a period of post-placement visits from a social worker and such, before the actual finalization of the adoption occurs in court. With international adoption, the children have been born and abandoned, legally relinquished, or removed from their birthparents, before they are referred to a family. After doing a lot of paperwork to secure U.S. and foreign approval of the family's eligibility to adopt and the referred child's eligibility to be adopted, the prospective adoptive family generally is given permission to travel, meet the child, and finalize the adoption. In some cases, the family is given guardianship and returns to the U.S. to finalize here. Many families who finalize abroad also do a readoption in their home state.Sharon

Make the paper after baby birth

Birth parents cannot terminate their rights until after the child is born. In most states the biological mother cannot sign until at least 24 hours after she has had any pain medication to ensure that she is in a clear state of mind and has not been coerced. Depending on the agency or lawyer you use, the paperwork can be written up, but not signed, in advance. And of course there will be a home study and paperwork for you to do before baby comes!

The laws on when a birth mother can sign is dependent on various states, but I don't think any states allow signing relinquishment of rights prior to the child's birth. I adopted in Idaho and the law is that the birth mother signs in front of a judge after the birth once she feels recovered enough to travel, so she did not sign until a week after delivery. The paperwork was drawn up by an attorney before the birth, but it wasn't signed until later. In some states though, they allow birth moms to sign in the hospital 24 hours after delivery and a judge doesn't need to be present. Good luck with everything! :)