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Sooooooo . . . . I read an unusual reunion story today. A woman and her birth son reunited, "fell in love," and are pursuing a romantic relationship. They're going public with their story, they say, to raise awareness of Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). I'd heard a little about GSA here and there, and now I'm wondering if it's common enough that people should be prepped for the possibility of feeling sexually attracted to birth family members at reunion?
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I hate to say it, but what you are talking about is incest. Most cultures in the world have moral/legal prohibitions against sexual relations between close biological relatives, including between parent and child and between siblings. In the U.S., many people even consider it incestuous for first cousins to have sexual relations.
One problem with incest is that it can lead to certain genetic problems in any offspring that are conceived. There are many disorders that don't show up if only one parent carries a certain genetic marker, but that can result when both parents have it. Genetic counseling is always recommended, when a child is conceived in incest.
However, genetic issues aside, do you really think it's OK for people to act on all of their sexual feelings, even if it means violating the norms of thousands of years of human civilization? If you had a very handsome brother, even if he lived in another household, would you think it OK to act on sexual feelings that you might have about him? Or would you consider sleeping with your brother rather "icky"?
We may all have moments of sexual fantasy/sexual attraction. Teenage girls often fantasize about their male teachers, for example. Happily married men and women sometimes have fantasies about characters on TV, or even about real life people that they know. But we are all supposed to learn, at an early age, that certain behaviors are off limits. The teacher who is the object of a teenage girl's "crush" is not supposed to run off with her. The person infatuated with a movie actress is not supposed to stalk her.
And the mother who discovers that the son she relinquished at birth has become an exceedingly handsome young man is not supposed to enter into a romantic relationship with him. It's probably illegal. Most people would consider it immoral. And frankly, it's just plan icky. And if the mother and son have a child together, they are giving that child, and his/her descendants, potential genetic issues that could affect them and THEIR future offspring.
In this country, by the way, even though it isn't technically incest, our society considers sexual relationships between adoptive parents and their adopted children, and between two adopted siblings who are not biologically related, as if they were incestuous. And that is as it should be, too. No, there won't be genetic consequences. But such relationships can be very destructive to the concept of family.
My daughter (by adoption) is an adult now, but when she was younger, I had designated a second cousin and her husband as her guardians if I died or became too disabled to parent. They have twin sons, only a few years older than my daughter. At one point, my daughter asked whether, if she ever had to go live with these guardians, she would be allowed to date and marry one of the boys. I told her that, while technically the relationship wouldn't be illegal, as they were something like second cousins once removed, she should consider the relationship taboo because she would be their sibling, in terms of family life. She should nurture the sibling relationship, which can be very special, without turning it into a romantic one, and find a boyfriend/husband elsewhere.
Frankly, we shouldn't need to do anything special to warn people that they might have occasional inappropriate sexual fantasies, whether it's about their biological parents or siblings, their adoptive parents or siblings, the married next door neighbor, the handsome dude on TV, the science teacher, the plumber, or whoever. But what everyone should be reminded of is that there's a big difference between an occasional fantasy and a behavior that results from allowing the fantasy to run wild. Rape, incest, stalking, sex with minors, and such behaviors are illegal. Our religious institutions remind us of right and wrong, and tell us that we must avoid behaviors such as adultery and incest --not that people always listen to the adultery part! And the whole family structure of human society is based on certain relationships that are encouraged, and certain relationships that are considered unacceptable.
As far as I'm concerned, the woman and her birth son, about whom you heard, are going public for personal gain and personal fame, as well as to seek approval for their inappropriate behavior. Some TV station is bound to pick up their story, and they are bound to be given money for telling it. Unfortunately, there's a lot of dirty laundry being aired on TV these days, because it "sells". Frankly, when I see things like this, my reaction is to hold my nose -- and turn to a different channel.
Sharon
2 Liked
and  like this.
That is straight up INCEST.
Some might feel "genetic attraction," but as adults one has to make choices on what they proceed to do- and dating her son is illegal in most states, and disgusting.
Just because a person "feels" something doesn't mean they have to pursue it.
The people involved are going "public" for the fame and money. Not for the cause. Otherwise they wouldn't be pitching it to news stories and would instead create a non-profit counseling organization that helps people deal with, and IGNORE, their INCESTual attraction.
Sick, appalling, and wrong- and, in much of the world, illegal. Dating a 3rd cousin very detached is one thing, but dating yoru own child is disgusting, horrifying, and illegal. They shouldn't seek "acceptance," they should seek counseling for their illegal, unethical, and revolving behavior. Dating your adult child is NOT OK. It's absolutely disgusting. And illegal in most of the world.
Last update on April 5, 12:19 am by feb171983.
The "yuck, this is incest" feeling was definitely my sense, too, but this isn't the first time I'd heard about this, so I thought maybe it was a thing that people should be aware of, not in a good way, but in a "prepare yourself to maybe have weird feelings that you should definitely not act on" way.
I have read that article as well. I believe it is very uncommon. Adoptees and birth families reunite all the time, and that article was the first time I had ever heard of their being sexual attraction involved. I think the reason it's such a big news story is that (aside from the ew factor) it's pretty uncommon. If you are constantly thinking "oh no am I sexually attracted to my bio family?" that might stress you out or make you think about them in a way you might not otherwise. There's a slight possibility that you might experience GSA- but you probably won't.
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