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I recently watched a Wednesday'd Child video featuring a 12-year-old girl who had been placed in foster care at a young age, adopted, and then, several years later, "turned back over to the custody of the state." She'd been in foster care since age 10. I realize a lot of pain probably went into the decision to dissolve that adoption, but it broke my heart, as I'm sure it broke the adoptive parents'. In the video, the girl stated that she really missed her family.
So it made me wonder two things: How could adoption reversals like this be prevented? And as awful as it seems, are adoption reversals sometimes the right thing to do?
Last update on April 20, 11:49 am by Rachel Skousen.
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from most things i have read about this happening, even by people on these boards, it seems the main issue is that these kids difficulties are misrepresented to families hoping to adopt. future Parents don't properly understand the diagnosis their child has or how lifelong it will be and how it might manifest itself. Sometimes kids are purposefully misrepresented. One woman who posted on these boards talked about her own disrupted adoption with a child who continued to threaten to kill the family including other children in the house, and began torturing their dog. Although all of this was documented she later saw his profile up (as available for adoption) and his description said he would do great with other kids and pets, despite that he was a documented risk to children and pets.
All of this being said, is there an appropriate home for "dangerous children" besides a group home where they are constantly monitored and have trained people to help with their treatment? I really am an optimist who wants to believe in the best outcome so I am not sure what my suggestion would be. The thought of any child without a family breaks my heart.
Of course there certainly are parents who dissolve adoptions for selfish reasons. I am sure they are out there. I know someone who sent their foster to adopt placement "back" (prior to going through with adoption) for a list of reasons like "still wetting to bed and trying to hide their dirty underwear [at an older age]). If you send a child back because they have unusual difficulties due to their trauma , that makes me angry to even think about. Of course these kids have trauma to work through, whats happened to them is a tragedy. Be willing to have patience and perseverance or don't begin the process of adoption.