Boundaries In Open Adoption

While I understand feeling insecure and worrying about being cut out of the child's life, you are totally right in that some boundaries need to be set. While it's certainly importany to be accomodating of birth family, it is not healthy for you to be at their beck and call. One thing that helps me is to view the relationship between birth and adoptive family as no different than any other extended family relationship- if your aunt called so many times like that and got upset with you for being at an appointment it wouldn't be okay, and this isn't either. It sounds like there needs to be a sit down discussion about clear contact boundaries. It's okay to say "I love you, and I don't ever plan to cut you out. But I can't always answer the phone right away. I promise to always get back to you within a few days."