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My friend has two adopted children, both in open adoptions. However, one daughter's birth family is very involved in her life and available for phone calls and visits. They send presents on holidays and birthdays. The other child's birth mom makes contact very infrequently, usually to ask for financial help. Right now the kids are pretty young, but as time goes by I'm sure the younger child will have some questions/confusion about why her birth family isn't more involved. How does a mom handle that situation?
I am saying this both Professionally . As well as a Mom.
Ask each Party separately. If you could be the ' Neutral Party? ' or a ' 3rd Party. ' ..
Set ' Extreme Firm Boundaries with the Financial Advocacy Component. Example you are not there to Financially Advocate or Support.
Professionally and as a Mom. Financial Advocacy and Support is very ' Ticklish ' and or Delicate to approach ??
Be Equal in ' Neutrality . '
Have child dictate and you write ( if unable to write ) or have child write simple letters.
Each Adoption is unique and different, and each Parent and Family are equal and different.
Professionally, I see also maybe the ' Weak Link ' may never have had a relationship . That meant something or is meaningful or worthful?
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I am in a somewhat similar situation. My birth daughter's birth father is hardly involved at all. However, her brothers' birth parents and I are highly involved in both the kid's lives. It is very important that we all show the same amount of love for each child. For example, I never bring a gift for my birth daughter without bringing one for her brother as well. We hope that having all three of us equally involved will help her know how loved she is and ease the loss. She won't need to think "My brother is more loved than me because both his birth parents are super involved" because they will also be involved with her too. Obviously, it will still potentially be hard on her for him not to be as involved, but we hope it helps.