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What are your best parenting tips for a transracial adoption? How do you help your child embrace their birth culture, without making them feel isolated and different?
I can tell you what not to do. (Although I'm pretty sure you are the complete opposite of my adoptive parents.) I grew up with a transracial adopted sister. My parents always checked the Caucasian box on her forms. She was not allowed to date people from other races. My mom refused to use hair products that were suited for her hair type. You have be honest and educate the child about their race and heritage. Then let them decide how much of that they want to express themselves. I don't think it's ok to push them to be "very" their race either. Educate equally on both sides and then let them be who they want.
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Oh, my! That's so sad. To completely deny ones race is just not okay. I definitely believe in finding a happy medium,and allowing the child to choose which parts of both cultures they prefer. Teaching them proper hair and skin care is so important, because that affects them physically for a lifetime. I think a lot of the reason your parents may have had a hard time with your sister being a different race boils down to insecurity. It's not wrong to feel insecure, but it is wrong if the way you express it harms someone else.