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My fiance and I recently adopted a 14 year old girl, and I love this girl unconditionally, and my fiance has become very attached to her and vice versa, but I've been feeling strange about it all. I'm realizing that I am no longer his first priority and that I didn't get to experience this girl growing up. She is my first child and I feel guilty for feeling this way about everything. I just don't know what to do.
I'm sorry it took so long for me to see this post. With any child there is always an adjustment period whether that child is adopted or biological. I have two kids and would be lying if I said I didn't long for the days it was just the two of us. I sometimes fantasize about the kids being away at college.
I also know that when I see him with our kids my heart melts. It reminds me of why I fell in love with him in the first place. I have three step children who were 6,8, and 10 when I met them. I too under what it's like to miss the beginning.
The only advice I really have is too keep at it. Some days are better than others. Maybe in the future you will have a child who is younger and you can experience the earlier years together.
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