Hiring Professional Help

I've heard some people say that they think it's unethical for PIs to charge for assistance in finding birth family. I'm not sure why that would be unethical - it's a service that takes training, experience, and access to certain resources that not everyone may be privy to. What do you think? Did you use a PI in your search? Would you do it again?

I do not think it is unethical?My Dad recently found his ' Birth Sister '. Through my Sister or his Daughter In-Law. Rather than a Private Investigator or ' PI '.I think that if Dad had approached ' Lorraine ' first or rather than a ' 3rd Party approach . 'Their relationships would be a whole lot different or better advocative??? Than they are currently??

So you feel like your dad's relationship with his birth sister is strained because he didn't make the initial contact with her?

My Sister In-Law has a totally different personality . Than my Dad does.I feel that if our Dad or my Dad had initially approached. Then ' Lorraine ' may have been more receiving to the idea!!!

I know this is not the same scenario, but my adoption was in a closed adoption state, so I hired a state intermediary for my contact. It was all done anonymously because that was what was required. The intermediary took my letter of introduction and presented it to my birth mother. My birth mother initially rejected me and wanted no contact. Almost 20 years later, I received a letter from my birth mother through the same intermediary. Birthmom's life had grown considerably and she was now ready to meet me AND tell her grown children about me. (I was a well-kept secret.) My husband and I made a trip across three states to meet them and it was a good meet. I think that if I had just personally approached my b-mom 20 years ago, she would have flipped out and there would have never been any hope of any type of connection. By having an intermediary (which I think a PI could possibly pose as that), you give the birth parent an opportunity to ready themselves for the life-changing event of meeting their child. You also give them the opportunity to deny the meet if they are not emotionally ready.