At almost 50 years old, my sister and I recently learned that my mother, who is now deceased, was pregnant and gave the child up for adoption before she ever met and married my father.
We would like to get to know our new-found sibling, but my father can never, EVER find out about this.
How do we go about this without completely weaving a tangled web of lies and playing my father for a fool?
It would be a tragedy if we never got to know our mothers' other child, but it would also KILL my father (literally) if he found out.
How do we handle this correctly?
Any suggestions will be GREATLY appreciated.
I don't see why you would have to tell him. As long as you aren't posting on each other's Facebook pages, I don't see how he would find out. If you are looking for ways to search, you can check the adoption registries,, and your state registry. You should join the Facebook group Adoptee Central and make a post with all the information you have about the adoption. It is an active search group, and they are very helpful.