How to suggest a couple to an EM

When I was making my adoption plan, I was approached by a lot of people who knew this couple and that couple looking to adopt. I absolutely hated it. It was no ones place to tell me who to place with. However.... I did end up placing with one of the couples suggested to me. Now they are looking to adopt again, and I would absolutely love for my birth daughter to have a little sister. I also have a fair amount of contact with women looking to place. But I dont want to make them feel how all the other people made me feel. I just know what amazing parents they are, and how good my open adoption is. I have one of the best open adoption relationships I've seen, and I want to share that. I just don't know how to not come across as rude or bossy. Suggestions?

I wouldn't "approach" anyone about it, but if you find yourself in a conversation with someone making a plan, I would definitely mention it in a non pushy way.

If you are talking to someone who is considering adoption, I would ask them how their search is going. If they know your experience, they may have some things they are struggling with that you can give feedback from your own experiences of what to look for and what to watch out for, as there are often red flags early on if one gets to know the adoptive parents beforehand. You may be able to help them understand those things and can share more about your own experience and how beneficial it has been to have an open adoption that has some ongoing contact. You can even tell them that you know every situation is different, but you are happy with the family you placed with. They likely will ask questions about agencies you used and how you found the people you chose. It is ok to say somebody I knew suggested them and I’m glad they did, though you will likely get lots of people telling you that they or someone they know would like to adopt your Baby and sometimes that can be awkward because it feels like circling vultures waiting to swoop if it is not someone you know well enough for them to bring it up. If you know of other families other than the one who adopted your daughter whom you know well enough that you could comfortably recommend them (alikely situation given your advocacy work) you could indicate that you actually know a few families looking to adopt including your daughter’s family. Offer that if she wants further information on any of these that she can let you know and that you will be happy to give it to her, but as you respect her decision making abilities and rights you won’t push that information or your suggestions on her uninvited. She may ask for the info right away, might contact you for it later, or might opt not no at all, but you’ve make her aware of options in a way that respects her dignity.