I have a 2-year children, I heard that Japanese way to teaching children is very excellent. I wanna share the Japanese way to teach children discipline
Why do kids behave the way they do? Kate Lewis was not the first American mother to ask that question.
Kate Lewis, an American freelance writer living with his family in the land of the rising sun, shares in the Savvy Tokyo March 20 on how to train Japanese children's independence.
One of my biggest misconceptions when I first moved to Japan was that children here have innate discipline. I imagine the children automatically listen to their parents with absolute respect, adhering to the rules exactly from the very beginning.
During the first trip on the tram, the immediate scene impressed me. The kids did not know how to sit in the chair, while my 2-year-old son was in his own place, dancing freely, laughing at the unwilling audience. Fortunately, the passengers on the train did not bother before the presentation of the boy. While I was reprimanding to regulate my behavior, Japanese mothers were calm when their children sat next to them.
My son does not behave badly, exactly. It's just a clear cultural difference between the way he shows up and how his fellow Japanese friends are taught. I began to wonder, how Japanese parents practice self-sufficiency for children? Why do children behave properly from birth?
Tame the "crisis of age two"
I am not the only American mother wondering about how the Japanese forge discipline for young children. Finding a poorly behaved Japanese child becomes a game for me and for foreign mothers on public places like parks or museums. When we meet such a child, we breathe a sigh of relief. Not just our children behave like that. Everyone's child is the same. However, Japanese parents do not seem to interfere at all. The child sat on the ground, crying, screaming at the playground in the park, while their parents did not care.
Once, when I was about to board the Yamonote Line train from Shinjuku to go home, my son was determined not to go. I have no way of restraining his absurd irritation because he was busy hugging her little girl. He tried to find a way to leave the train before the train moved, I whispered apologies to the passengers on board that had suffered. At that time, I just wish someone would intervene by being completely helpless to force me into discipline.
I confided to a Japanese teacher about this story, referring to the phrase "the terrible two's," the age of irritation that every child is experiencing, usually two years old. She nodded and laughed: "We call it ma no nisai. The age of monsters. " However, when I asked the Japanese how to handle the behavior of the child at that age, she smiled mysteriously.
****suke Art (Discipline)
One day, I accidentally discovered the reason I had never seen a Japanese kid fined. That day, on another train, a child was cranky and did not want to go home like my son did before. The father quickly pulled the family out of the train. As the door closed and the train left, I saw him sitting down with his son in the middle of the empty platform and began to scold him. It's the image that made me enlightened.
The behavior of Japanese children in public places derives from private tuition.
While I was concentrating on stopping my child's behavior while it was happening, Japanese parents seemed to be trying to wait for a new private moment to discuss. I began to pay more attention to this, and realized the quiet exchanges took place when parents stopped at the pillar at the train station, the park edge or when they entered the car.
In addition to keeping your child exposed, teaching your child privacy is also a way for parents to keep their face. In Japan, the discipline is called ****suke. The term is also used to refer to training, raising. Parents are the mirror for children to screen and show behavior in public. As far as I can see, private conversations seem to be more effective than shouting to hold back the crowds.
Punish acts, not punish children
Last year, a Japanese family infuriated the international press by leaving a seven-year-old missing in Hokkaido after chasing down cars for inadequate behavior. They drove away and when they returned, the boy disappeared. They were fortunate to find their children in a few days, but child psychologists around the world agreed that punishment should be punished rather than punished. Excessive punishments are not recommended. It is important to teach children discipline by modeling, repeating them to memorize and correct themselves.
When I visited my son's kindergarten, I saw students applying strict schedules, repeating songs, games, and polite behavior such as neatly folding and sitting neatly, Until all become habits.
Translator: Helen Nguyen