Effects on parenting

I've heard that being adopted can affect your parenting in a few different ways.First off, your child might be your only blood relative, so you might feel a very strong bond with them which is great. But it also has the potential for separation anxiety. I know a few adoptees who have started to really struggle with their adoption once they have had children. They feel that incredible love for the child, and wonder how their birth parents could have ever placed them if they loved them because imagining that separation is unbearable. This can stir up a lot of grief and feelings of being unwanted.

I remember when I gave birth to my (one and only!) son, I could. not. let. him. go. I began to grieve for the baby that I had been, and in every gesture I made for my son, I saw myself as a baby, not having the same thing done for me. I had been reunited with my biological mother for at least 10 years when I had my child, and it hit me really out of nowhere. It took me quite a while to sort through those emotions, and they pushed me to get more information about the circumstances of my birth, exactly.Having a "mini me" was amazing. Still is. I can't imagine being in a situation where I would have to give up my son. I still think this is a huge psychic wound in many biological parents and adopted children.