( I apologize in advance for this novel)
So I'm 22 and I think I'm about 14 weeks pregnant. I barely have rides to work ( I live 5 mins away so luckily I can afford taxis or ask a roommate for a ride there) so getting to a clinic or a doctor to get checked out is nearly impossible. I had a heart surgery 3 years ago and back surgery 1 1/2 years ago and can't even afford to see a doctor or manage to get a ride to a clinic for those issues. That being said, I don't know how I could possibly afford a baby. I wanted to choose an abortion but have no way to pay the $800+ cost right now and by the time I could afford it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself having one that late. Now I'm considering adoption, but I'm scared of telling my family/friends/coworkers that I'm giving the baby up for adoption or that, because of my health problems ( my heart especially ), pregnancy/labor could possibly hurt or kill me. I've come to point I could possibly come to terms with having the child but I have so little money and no transportation that I don't think I could give the baby the life it deserves. I mean, I don't even know how my boyfriend and I could get our own place ( w/o roommates) before I am due. Basically, I just don't know what to do or who to talk to. What am I suppose to do about getting to the doctor if I carry the pregnancy to term? How do I tell everyone in my life, or do I tell them? I'm considering keeping it a secret, but i'm scared of what my roommates or the people at my new job will think of me? ( I know it's stupid to care what people think but I can't help it...) I don't think my sister or grandma would support me choosing an adoption and would be the most judgmental, but it's not like they could or would do anything to help me.
Is there anyone whose been through something similar who could give me some advice? Everything is falling apart at once and I feel like I'm falling into a depression again and I could really use some help...
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I know that this is old but maybe someone else can benefit.
I am an adult adoptee my blog
has several resources. One blog in particular is called "Considering Adoption"
I have a video online of an hour-long speech I made that outlines what I think every person
should know when considering adoption
There are so many resources that are available to you. If adoption is a choice you are considering than that is a selfless act. There are so many women out there like myself who do not have the ability or opportunity to have children and parents like yourself give the greatest gift. No matter what your decision do what is going to be best for the baby, what's going to be best for your future and what also will be good for your health. Vent, talk, research but make informed decisions. Good Luck and if you need to talk always available !