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Hi! Last year I found my birth mother and the entire thing was completely overwhelming. She always needs something from me and it is very off-putting. I have dealt with her by distancing myself, but recently I found my birth father and his family. They have been great, but they are also starting to put the pressure on me to call and text and facetime 24-7. Recently, my half brother was in the hospital and they wanted me to call and factime him. This just made me uncomfortable because I don't know him like that and they were pressuring me and making me feel bad because I felt uncomfortable. I know I need to set boundaries, but I am afraid they will be hurt in the process. BUT in the last year I have learned I need to put me first. Any help or advice would greatly appreciated in this very confusing time.
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Jim Jackson likes this.
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Wow Mara, I feel the exact same way. This is the very reason I joined this forum a minute ago. I am 48 and had my own family. After finding my BM in April, it's all about text, call, FT repeat. She always calls me "son" and "her boy" etc etc etc. it is very possessive and off putting, and makes me uncomfortable. I wish I had advice for you or a suggestion but I too am looking for encouragement or advice. I am weirdly relieved I found someone with the same feelings. Good luck to you.
Last update on December 11, 10:11 pm by Jim Jackson.
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That's exactly why I didn't want to search for my birth family when I was growing up. I was worried they would be more attached to me than I would be to them. I would just try to explain the situation to them. Compare it to when you first start dating someone. You need the slow getting to know you period and your relationship will be better for it in the long run.