Hello everyone!
I have a question.
My wife and I are almost licensed, we just had our home study and are waiting on approval. We are getting a dual license, but matched adoption was our goal. We wanted to adopt one boy that is around our son's age (12).
We have only prepared to add one child to our family, but we found a specific case on that has made us second guess our decision. We found twin boys that are the right age, and are in separate foster homes. They only get once a month visitation. My wife has a twin sister, and thinking about losing her parents and her twin all at the same time really pulled on her heart strings.
We're worried about how our son would bond with the twins, since they are already so closely bonded. We know it is going to take some work, even with just one child. We are prepared to participate in family counseling, or anything else we need to do to ease the transition. We worry that our son will always feel like the odd man out. But also acknowledge that it could definitely work out!
We talked it over and came up with a solution, but are not sure if this is something a caseworker would consider.
We would like to take both boys as foster placements. Our goal would absolutely be to adopt them. However, if we felt we didn't blend well as a family, we would commit to fostering them until an adoptive home was found that would take both of them. Our thought was that worse case scenario, at least they are in a home together. We would never adopt another child while we had the twins if we decided not to adopt them. We don't think it would be right, or fair. We would likely open our home for one more foster placement though. (Am I crazy to feel like an even number of kiddos is always better than odd?)
I am curious to see what other foster/adoptive parents think about this? Do you think the caseworker would consider it?
Thank you ahead of time!
The problem with an odd number is that one is sort of left out. There's no way to know what will happen. However, the fact that they're bio brothers as well as twins may mean that they'll bond quicker and stronger with each other than with your son. Also, there may be some jealousy and some behaviors on the part of the adoptees. Just something to think about.