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So i've been reading about foster care and trying to get any info i can about it but still am not sure if it is the right fit. My wife and I have been contemplating starting a family, and I was thinking about foster care for a few reasons. My wife has a condition where she stays on bitch control all the time to prevent symptoms from the disease, going off of the birth control can come with re-emergence of symptoms and also the condition usually results in much lower fertility anyway. So while we may possibly be able to have a child of our own, we also might not, so adoption might be in our future ANYWAY. At the same time i really feel the need to feel ourselves out before making decisions with such long ranging effect as having a permanent child whether through adoption or birth.
So a question I have for the community, is whether or not it is wrong to think of foster care as a way to experience aspects of parenting without the lifelong commitment, or should you already be thoroughly committed to being a parent before ever starting?
The next issue i have is about our current work/schedule arrangements. My wife and i both work day shift monday-friday. I know foster parents are responsible for doctors appointments, court dates, visitation with biological parents, and most of this would conflict with our work schedules. Coming up soon I will have 20 flex days off from work per year, and also my job is of a nature that it is possible for me to ask permission to leave at random times and simply work over, as long as projects are being taken care of in a timely fashion at work, it's far more flexible than my wife's job and she also has far less sick days and few vacation days. I was thinking that this might work if we went only for school age children who will be in school during the day. Obviously during summer and school breaks the child would have to go to a daycare, sitter, or something like that.
Would you expect this to be enough or does it pretty much require at least one parent who is home during the day all the time to deal with all the daytime requirements for even a school age child?
There is commitment involved with foster kids. They need more commitment. You and your wife need to have a thick thick skin if you do foster care. As for days off: that's what I've done. I'm a single parent. I would try and get as many doctors with Saturday hours as possible. Then those without, I would use PTO/vacation days for.
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