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Hello! I'm new here. My husband and I are parents through adoption to a beautiful little boy who just turned two TODAY! We have an open relationship with his birth mother that I take very seriously. We do all that we agreed to plus some, because I truly care for her and want our relationship to work for our son's sake, as well as hers. We are currently in our second adoption wait, hoping to have another child to love, a sibling for our son. She doesn't contact us very frequently, which we anticipated, knowing that adoption was a difficult decision for her. We continue to send her love and support, but don't expect responses. She got a hold of us early last week to wish our son a happy birthday and to announce she is pregnant and has chosen to parent. I was wondering if others have experienced this. We want to be supportive of her and don't question her right to parent. We love her. Her life hasn't changed so the reasons behind her decision with our son haven't changed. Selfishly, of course I have prayed she would choose us to raise this child as well, but I know the decision to adopt was difficult the first time and understand where she is coming from wanting to parent this time. However, I'm heart broken for my son. She is parenting her oldest ,my son is her second. I am frustrated that she has put him in the position that someday he may wonder why he wasn't "kept" while his siblings were. I am struggling this week with hurt for him, a bit of jealousy and trying to fight off hope. I am also confused as to what to do with our agency. Should we put ourselves on hold until her pregnancy is over, just to be safe? We once promised her that we would be here for her in this capacity if she needed us, and if we were chosen between now and then we would be out of the running for her child... which would complicate things further. Just needed some understanding ears!
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