Me and my husband have been married 3 years. He has 3 daughter's (19, 18, 15) from his previous marriage. I have a 10 yr. Old daughter and a 6 yr old son. We want more children but can't conceive. We just started the application for Fostering to adopt (talking with worker abt. A 14 mo old boy ::fingers crossed::)
I'm nervous about the home study. What will they ask my kids? I don't spank often but I have, will that disqualify me? I'm generally loud (I think it's the Italian in me, No volume control) and often come across as yelling. Will this disqualify me?
We want another child so badly. My kids are well taken care of and loved more than the stars in the sky, but am I a good enough mom to adopt? Anyone have advice?
: : hello. In my state it is a disqualifier if you use negative and/or physical discipline to parent in any way at all. You are even held to a contract about it. Most of these kiddos in the foster care system have only known traumatic negative adult attention and often also unfortunately physical abuse in some way so my state takes that very seriously. That is not to say that an adoption worker wouldn't approve your home study for adoption if you have proven that you know about, have been and are currently implementing positive parenting techniques with no physical discipline and you can demonstrate that you are fully aware of the reasons why nothing else would be acceptable or appropriate. There are no guarantees of approval of course but I would be completely up front and transparent about it Hiding anything will be an instant red flag for most adoption workers! Also the fact that you are worried in the first place most likely means you care enough to be a great mom, I would imagine. Just a thought, but if I were in your shoes, I would not even begin to pay for a home study until I've taken foster care adoption training classes to be educated first. Our state allows that for anyone interested before you have started your home study and it helps potential adoptive parents either figure out if it is actually not right for them or open their eyes to what the whole world of adoption through foster care is really all about. From my experience, most people only think they know until they really get into it. Don't give up hope. I wish you all the best of luck. Hope this helps in some way. : :
Hi! I would find a more supportive agency! My sister has four sons, and is in process to adopt another AA/biracial baby. True, some expectant moms might shy away from a large family, but some may love it! As a former social worker myself, we always needed families who were open to AA/biracial, because so few (relatively) are. All that to say, you may or may not wait longer because of family size. That is NOT something an agency should attempt to predict. I would find another agency and go for it!
As parents, you’re aware of both your children by adoption and biological children. Your attitude bleeds over to your them. They mimic not only your behavior but also your conversation and attitude. When you reach a position of remaining impartial to all your kids, they will mimic the same behavior.
Through your actions and words, don’t give special status to some kids over others when you’re trying to find a way to blend your family together. Yes, some kids may need more attention over time, but find a way to help your other kids understand that without feeling resentful.
Last update on December 28, 12:32 pm by megera39.
I can't see any problems at all here! Most people spank their kids. You will just have to agree that you will not spank your foster kids. Good luck I wish the best for you :) I am also extremely loud and excited personality !