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My cousin called me this week and asked if I would pick up her kids from school because she was running late. This happens every once in awhile, and I don't mind at all. I'd rather her call me to pick them up, than have them waiting outside in the cold for who knows how long ( I have actually drove by their home randomly, and seen them waiting for someone to get home. And it would have been about 30 minutes after they got home from school. It was February and snowing.) Anyways, I picked them up (ages 5 & 7) and we went back to my house and I opened their book bags to see if they had any homework. The older one had a couple weeks worth of homework to do and the younger one didn't have any homework but had a note from his teacher. The note stated that he has missed 30 days of school this year, and been tardy another 30+ times. Now I've always known their home life was a little rough, but I guess seeing the attendance sheet just made it all the worse to me. I know they are not being hit or starved or anything like that. But their parents sleep all day and want to be out all night. Both of the kids hate school, and I'm pretty sure its because they are so tired during the day because they stay out so late. She tried to pick the kids up at 12:30 am on a school night. I told her that they were already sleeping and that I would just take them to school in the morning. She is a prostitute by profession, and a drug addict. The children's father has told me that he sells drugs before. And they have both been arrested to drug trafficking before. Sometimes the kids have on the same clothes for a couple days. The children's behavior is horrible. They hit each other, and slap each other. The oldest gets so angry sometimes. He also told me he doesn't like his new house because he is no longer allowed to leave his room whenever he wants to because he walked in on people having sex in the living room. But he said his mom told him he imagined it, so he's not sure. He also has a new rule for his room "No texting," because his mom's sister (also a drug addict) sleeps in the boys room when she needs a place to go, and it keeps him up at night. I know a lot of this stuff sucks. But does it warrant a call to children's services? I'm sure many kids have it worse, and I know she loves them. She just can't seem to get it together.
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I called children's services on someone renting a house from me once. They had 3 kids in a 1 bedroom home. When I called they told me that it wasn't a big deal because "many kids have it worse." So I guess that has always been stuck in my head. However, you are right. It shouldn't be a part of my thought process when considering calling again.
My cousin called me this week and asked if I would pick up her kids from school because she was running late. This happens every once in awhile, and I don't mind at all. I'd rather her call me to pick them up, than have them waiting outside in the cold for who knows how long ( I have actually drove by their home randomly, and seen them waiting for someone to get home. And it would have been about 30 minutes after they got home from school. It was February and snowing.) Anyways, I picked them up (ages 5 & 7) and we went back to my house and I opened their book bags to see if they had any homework. The older one had a couple weeks worth of homework to do and the younger one didn't have any homework but had a note from his teacher. The note stated that he has missed 30 days of school this year, and been tardy another 30+ times. Now I've always known their home life was a little rough, but I guess seeing the attendance sheet just made it all the worse to me. I know they are not being hit or starved or anything like that. But their parents sleep all day and want to be out all night. Both of the kids hate school, and I'm pretty sure its because they are so tired during the day because they stay out so late. She tried to pick the kids up at 12:30 am on a school night. I told her that they were already sleeping and that I would just take them to school in the morning. She is a prostitute by profession, and a drug addict. The children's father has told me that he sells drugs before. And they have both been arrested to drug trafficking before. Sometimes the kids have on the same clothes for a couple days.The children's behavior is horrible. They hit each other, and slap each other. The oldest gets so angry sometimes.He also told me he doesn't like his new house because he is no longer allowed to leave his room whenever he wants to because he walked in on people having sex in the living room. But he said his mom told him he imagined it, so he's not sure. He also has a new rule for his room "No texting," because his mom's sister (also a drug addict) sleeps in the boys room when she needs a place to go, and it keeps him up at night.I know a lot of this stuff sucks. But does it warrant a call to children's services? I'm sure many kids have it worse, and I know she loves them. She just can't seem to get it together.
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Hi, are you able to offer them a stable life, vs having child services take them away. Can you maybe convince the mother you can take care of them at your house, and the so called parents can visit. Those poor children shouldn't be in that environment. Maybe I am talking out of turn here. You seem to love them. You seem like a good person and caring. Maybe approach social services and see if you can get guardianship. If they get taken away you will lose them too. Just be careful to not give names when talking to the social worker , as they are obligated to call authorities, if you tell them what you said here. I guess you have a lot to think about now. sincerely, Joan
Chaos is bad for kids. You are already providing a place for them to feel grounded, even if they don't live with you.You could build on that, and offer to take the kids during the week, and by doing that, get them to school, so they don't miss out on an education.That won't prevent your sister form taking them and moving, so you don't see them much, if any.Parents rights stand above all others, so be aware of the risks.If you decide to call, and the kids are placed in foster care, it can be hard to get kids that you're related to (Aunt) from foster care, not impossible, but it can take a lot of work.Another way to go is to have the kids with you, and have your sister there, so she can agree that you can care for the kids, and then call CPS. This gives you the best chance of CPS agreeing that the kids should stay with you.Addiction is not a moral failure. There's more and more evidence that it's based in biology. METH is one street drug that for some people, relieves ADHD. Other street drugs also mimic pharmacy medication. Clean and sober does happen, and not without relapse, sort of like visiting a place you hate, but also miss, because you were there for so long. The important part is to recover again. Support and recovery go hand in hand. If you go that route, the kids need to know too, that relapse is part of recovery, not a failure, even though it disrupts everyone's lives, and still, choosing recovery again is the most important part.