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: : Thanks so much for the feedback. I was in the matching phase much longer than I ever anticipated (one full year) but that was because as a single parent I needed to be very selective and realistic about what I can and can not handle. This child I described was the most realistic on paper for me (up until that point) and my heart felt deeply for him knowing he deserved to know what it is like to have a healthy relationship with an unconditionally loving mother. I wanted to be that for him but when it came down to thinking if I could realistically handle all that he needed (later I found out that he was starting to show signs of aggression and harm) I realized I wasn't feeling confident in my ability to do so as a single parent. I was about a week away from committe when I learned that I was also being considered for a younger child who lives locally that ended up being the exact right match and I was ultimately chosen for him instead. The decision to stop moving forward with this other 10 yr old child was truly a tough, heart breaking one but I just knew God had a much more equipped family for him and I still pray for him. What an incredibly challenging yet also uniquely rewarding journey this foster adoption process is. I will continue to learn from all of you as I begin parenting this little one that I was chosen for as well. Thanks again for all the advice and support. It's been really helpful. : :
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