My husband and I took care of his cousins son. Because father was in jail and mother was in a bad place with drugs and possible mental illness. We had him for a month until we had an incident with the mother at midnight one night. That my husband reported. The state got involved and we turned into kinship/fostering situation. The father used this situation to get out of jail a year early. We had the boy for about 4 months when the father was released and slowly started up visits. Started with once a week then gradually twice a week, then of course sleepovers. All of which put the boy in a terrible way, but the social worker said it was normal for children to act out when they saw their parents. (He was an angel with us, as soon as his dad drove away, he was good again, he was 3 years old, the parents were apparently off and on with drugs the boys whole life, dad was in and out of jail for battery, against his mom and other things... hes been in rehab before) The boy was back with his dad before christmas. The dad (who we are unrelated to) wanted us to lie to the social worker about his sons reacurring anger problems and fits, and wanted us to watch him while he was at work. I dont mind watching the boy, I love him, but I was not going to lie to state in case he was put back into the system I wanted to be trusted to be kinship care for the boy. (In case the father did drugs again)
6 months later, state is out of the picture, and families are members are getting worried for the boy again. The father lost his job and is back on drugs. (No proof on the drugs, his family still wont report him and are more worried about keeping family peace and problems within the family, which I would have loved to do in the beginning but the mother had gotten aggresive).
I know it's not a lot to go by, there is just so much more details I am trying to keep this short.
Mother is in rehab, moved an hour away and is trying to get her life back together. Father has been leaving the boy with grandma all day and having strangers picking him up, calling them cousins which they were not (small town)
Anyway... we hear he lost his job. And family hasn't seen the boy in a while.
My husband would love to bypass all the trouble and ask both parents if we could adopt the boy.
IF they said yes, could we adopt without a ton of lawyers and since we were already approved to watch him by state would we be okay?
We fear if we were just to get custody it could turn into a mess in a few years and we want stability for the boy. He is 4 now.
Can we adopt him just by them handing over their parental rights?