My aunt adopted my daughter 26 years ago....

Forgive me adult adoptee. I know this is a birth mother spot but I think I can shed light on your situation. You will have to just ask your daughter how she feels and wait. For me, I always had two mothers, different in roles but equally important. I can not guarantee how she will feel. I've had a million "Excuse me" moments. I know now that the term "birth mother" can sometimes be hurtful. Sadly I used it for a long time not knowing that. She may be just as confused as what to say as you are. Also if you haven't already read up on how adoption affects adoptees please do so. You can't just switch moms on humans without consequences. We are not birds. We come with cords. There are psychological effects of adoption on adoptees. If you are unaware of this it's best to hold off any talks with your daughter until you've studied. We have unique challenges and we were MOST impacted by this choice in which we had no say.