Sibling Group

August 22, 2018

Hello...I am looking for input on sibling group experience . My husband and I have our first placement. He is a toddler that is part of a sibling group. He came to live with us after 2 months in another home. In that home he showed aggression towards their bio kids and his sibling . Since moving in our home we have not seen any of the behaviors that were reported. However in visits with siblings and birth parents he does yell and hit siblings but it is not addressed in that environment .

So now we are in a crossroads We are open to having another child come into our home. We have always been open to one of his siblings coming to live with us but the old caseworker felt he needed to be an only child. Everyone involved now agrees another child in our home is appropriate . The question just is should his sibling be moved in with us after being in another pre adoptive home for 7 months. My heart hurts at the thought of that family losing the sibling but my heart hurts even more that our child will never be reunited with his bio sibling because of behaviors he showed his first months in care. I just don't know what to advocate for anymore .

There is a third party in this equation that needs to be considered - the sibling. Her feelings and wellbeing are a lot more important than what the other family may experience. They may be heartbroken for a while but the impact for the sibling could be life long. Moving in with total strangers again in such a short time would likely be quite traumatic.

As far as your fs goes it would of course be ideal if he could be with his siblings, if it works, but he’s thriving in your home and as young as he is he probably doesn’t have very close relationships with his siblings. And just because he doesn’t live with his siblings doesn’t mean they can’t have contact.

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