I am a birthmother that gave her son up for adoption and 1 1/2 years ago I found him after 43 years the reunion at first was great.
Then things seem to change.
I am estranged from my parents and a few of my siblings. I come from a very dysfunctional family and have chosen not to speak to my parents because of severe abuse. I still speak to my 2 sisters with whom I am close.
He was very happy to meet me at first then he was pushing to meet my parents whom I do not speak with he was pressuring me. I told him that he could go on his own and meet them but I was not going to make up with them we had not spoken in years.
My father is a full blown Alcoholic. I did not want to see him at all. I also told him that he would get nothing out of meeting my parents.
I told him that he could meet my 2 sisters and I introduced him to them over the phone because he lives in a different state. Things seemed a little calmer.
Then from out of no where I get this more than nasty letter calling me mentally ill and saying that I am holding him back from his family.
And how dare I say bad things about his family.
I almost passed out.
We did not speak for months.
Then I get this apologetic text from him saying that he so sorry and that I was nothing but nice to him and he really felt awful. He said all he was thinking of was himself.
Then he said he would go along with me and meet my 2 sisters who were excited to meet him they also live in a different state. So I told him yes we would fly to meet my sisters around Thanksgiving we both had time off.
But he was not happy with this he kept pushing to meet my parents and my brother I don't speak to harassing me about it.
It was pretty bad.
He did not want to go alone.
I really felt awful.
I told him you are stressing me out and you need to slow down. You just met my sisters and you are asking me to do something that is not in my best interest.
He backed off then 2 days later I see him on Facebook it was his adopted Mothers birthday and he writes to her Happy Birthday Mom to the best mother a son could ever have.
It really upset me when he wrote that.
Then his girlfriend that I met the 1st time I met her tells me how hard it must have been to give your son up my babies are my life.
I again was hurt and I let it go then out of nowhere my son's girlfriend texts me and says hello and asks me about my son's father.
I told her he is a good man and I still love him.
She then turns around and acts like she is consoling me and says you need to take it one day at a time love is hard like lecturing me.
I had just about had enough I told her I am fine I am a very strong woman I love my son and I want things to work out and have a relationship but that is between me and my son.
I cut the conversation short but wished her a great day and left on a good note.
She then writes to me ok Hun. Really hun is that what you are calling me. I am your boyfriends mother.
I texted my son and told him that I did not feel comfortable with this and that I was so hurt when he wrote on his adoptive mother's Facebook that she was the best mother a son could have for me to see.
That I thought it was mean.
Well he let me have it like no tomorrow calling me mentally ill and he blocked me on Facebook.
I am beside myself moving forward months later I texted him Happy Birthday and we were texting a little he set up a time to call me and never did twice.
This up and down has been going on for months.
Finally I confronted him and told him how sad I was that we really don't talk and that he speaks to my sister and his fathers niece but not me and I felt so hurt by it and that please call I want to get past this.
I told him I felt that his girlfriend did not like me from the get go.
And was not happy with me being around.
He blocked me again from Facebook .
Any advice on how to deal with this. I can't go on being disrespected and like I am a nobody.
Last update on August 27, 8:41 am by megera39.
Hello Laurie. I'm an adopted child who recently found a very extensive birth family. I'm not sure of your reasons for giving up your son but you had them and I'm sure you made the best possible decision for his future. It may sound painful but maybe this reconciliation just was not meant to be. It's a very sensitive topic and situation and can always open up a huge can of worms. I would give serious thought and consideration to letting go. He might feel as I do which is very close and protective of his Mom. You are his Mother. There's a difference there in my opinion. It just sounds to me like it's not something that is meant to be. I wish you the best.