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My husband and I have no children of our own and are looking into adopting a 14 year old girl we found on the county website that would do well in our family. I have experience as my parents are foster parents so Ive grown up around the whole system. Within a short amount of time (before the workers have even gotten back to me) i found out that we have mutual friends both with her and with the current foster parent who isn't adopting her. Is that enough to be considered fictive kin and have her placed with us or do we have to go through the whole process of becoming foster parents before we can even meet her? We've already been approved to be a kinship placement for a set of siblings but we decided they were better off with the foster parents they had bonded with, so I know our home will pass any inspections necessary. It seems likely to me that they would want to move quickly to get her bonded with us since she's already 14, but I'm nervous they will say we have to be licensed first which will mean at least 6 more months of knowing we want to adopt her but her not knowing which seems cruel to me since I am aware that she wants to be adopted and wants to feel accepted and like she has a real family. I have mutual friends on facebook with both her and foster mom but I feel its inappropriate to contact either of them since i don't directly know them. If the case worker decides its too far of a stretch for fictive kin placement then what do you suggest? Can I ask them if its alright to contact them or ask to have them contact me? Or is that too pushy? We just want her to know that we already love her and want to provide a home and a family for her as soon as possible. We don't want her to lose hope while we go through the motions of getting licensed. Thanks ahead of time for reading all of that and for your insight!
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