Advertisements
Yesterday morning, I found my birth mother. It was not difficult at all (after I realized that my former last name was spelled wrong on the birth certificate.) I had used a Russian social media site, vk.com, and found a woman with the same name as the name on my birth certificate and living in the same village that I was born in. When I read about adoption stories, they’re all different. They made me afraid to meet my birth mom- if she was upset that I found her, and did not want to talk to me. Or maybe she was not alive. Instead, I found something I had not expected. “I did not know that you existed.” The very woman that had given birth to me thought I had died after being born. She told me that I was born when she was only five months pregnant and I weighed less than a kilogram. She told me that she was certain I was gone, or else she would have looked for me. This brings up so many different thoughts. The biggest one that I think of the most is this: what if she wants to become a big part of my life? Obviously, she is going to be. But I wonder, because this was not her decision, that it seems that I was wrongfully taken from her while she had no idea that I was still alive, if she still sees herself as my mother. She is understanding that I have a family in America now, but she told me that the past is not important because we have found each other now. Most of my relatives in Russia have also gotten into contact with me— my aunts, cousin, brother, and sister, as well. If I form bonds and relationships with them, is this permanent? Did I just change my whole life in one night? With one message saying- ‘Hi, I am your daughter?’ Has anyone else had an experience like this? I want to know this side of me- my heritage and my biological family, but I don’t know what they expect. I am only 17, I cannot fly across the world to meet people that I cannot even properly communicate with.
Like
Share
Advertisements
This seems very unique. I also did a similar search on vk as well as ok. I have not found any results thus far for myself. But as much as this can be a great relationship you build with birth-family, be careful to guard your heart as well. It is hard as adoptees to feel truly reunited because the distance and time does affect us. I encourage you to find a therapist or counselor who specializes with adoptees because sometimes finding our birth family stirs up feelings we have supressed for a long time
Yesterday morning, I found my birth mother. It was not difficult at all (after I realized that my former last name was spelled wrong on the birth certificate.) I had used a Russian social media site, vk.com, and found a woman with the same name as the name on my birth certificate and living in the same village that I was born in. When I read about adoption stories, they’re all different. They made me afraid to meet my birth mom- if she was upset that I found her, and did not want to talk to me. Or maybe she was not alive. Instead, I found something I had not expected. “I did not know that you existed.” The very woman that had given birth to me thought I had died after being born. She told me that I was born when she was only five months pregnant and I weighed less than a kilogram. She told me that she was certain I was gone, or else she would have looked for me.This brings up so many different thoughts. The biggest one that I think of the most is this: what if she wants to become a big part of my life? Obviously, she is going to be. But I wonder, because this was not her decision, that it seems that I was wrongfully taken from her while she had no idea that I was still alive, if she still sees herself as my mother. She is understanding that I have a family in America now, but she told me that the past is not important because we have found each other now. Most of my relatives in Russia have also gotten into contact with me— my aunts, cousin, brother, and sister, as well. If I form bonds and relationships with them, is this permanent? Did I just change my whole life in one night? With one message saying- ‘Hi, I am your daughter?’ Has anyone else had an experience like this? I want to know this side of me- my heritage and my biological family, but I don’t know what they expect. I am only 17, I cannot fly across the world to meet people that I cannot even properly communicate with.