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This is my story. I am wanting as much input as possible because this will either be the best decision of my life, or the worst. What would you do in this situation? Please comment and share. Thanks! Hi, my name is Jacob Swisher. I was adopted when I was 3.5 from Bulgaria by Kyle and Audrey Swisher. I was wanting your guys opinion on whether I should visit my biological family. First off, it’s expensive. My parents said they think I should go and that they would pay but i don’t want them to spend so much money on me. Another reason why I’m skeptical on whether I should go or not is because, well, I got in contact with my family using this guy named Karl. He found them and gave me their information. I have to use google translate to communicate with them. Anyways, the first person I talked to was my biological mother. She informed me that my biological dad had passed in I think around 2012 from alcoholism. For 6 months, I believed that my father was deceased. Later on, I found myself talking to one of my sisters, who is 23 years older than me. She informed me that he was still alive. I was like “what!”. I contacted my biological mother and I got the information out of her. The guy that was on my birth certificate and the guy that passed was not my father. That was one of her past husbands that passed. She is on her third guy I think. My dad and her are separated. I think that’s fine but someone is lying to me. In a video I got, my biological mother told me that the reason that she gave me and my twin sister (who has cerebral palsy) was because my father was being abusive and that he made her do it. She said that he never wanted us. She also has many other kids and has given another child up who is around 3 years older than Reagan and I. I then contacted my sister who was really close to my father and she is telling me that my mother is the one who never wanted my sister and I. So I really don’t know who to trust and i just don’t want to go visit my family if they are just going to complain about the other. I’m not mad at either one of them, I just want to know the truth. Just the fact that I’ve got some family lying to me, it’s making it hard to make my decision. I was just wanting your input on what I should do. Family means a lot to me and I’d like to visit them desperately, but don’t want to be surrounded by complaining and lies along the way. Thanks! -Jacob
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Jake, No. I would not go, not yet anyway. To start off with lies is wrong. It may be better than the truth which is, she doesn't know who your father is. Instead of spending so much money, I would urge my child to send two DNA tests one to each parent. They are not to open until you're on video chat and you walk them thru it. From opening the box to watching them each spit in the tube and include a postage paid envelope back to you so you can FedEx it to the labs. There is no proof they are your family. I say this because to date, I have had four young men come forth as my son. Same birthday, same ethnicity, religion and when the DNA is done, it's not them. It kills me inside. Please DNA first as a precaution. Show your adoptive parents my words. After the results come back, and it either proves or disproves, you can then make a decision. It may be that you best bet is to get to know your siblings, if they are you siblings. Please keep in mind that living in Europe is so different than here. There aren't services for special needs, the state doesn't look after children's well being. Please do the DNA first.
This is my story. I am wanting as much input as possible because this will either be the best decision of my life, or the worst. What would you do in this situation? Please comment and share. Thanks! Hi, my name is Jacob Swisher. I was adopted when I was 3.5 from Bulgaria by Kyle and Audrey Swisher. I was wanting your guys opinion on whether I should visit my biological family. First off, it’s expensive. My parents said they think I should go and that they would pay but i don’t want them to spend so much money on me. Another reason why I’m skeptical on whether I should go or not is because, well, I got in contact with my family using this guy named Karl. He found them and gave me their information. I have to use google translate to communicate with them. Anyways, the first person I talked to was my biological mother. She informed me that my biological dad had passed in I think around 2012 from alcoholism. For 6 months, I believed that my father was deceased. Later on, I found myself talking to one of my sisters, who is 23 years older than me. She informed me that he was still alive. I was like “what!”. I contacted my biological mother and I got the information out of her. The guy that was on my birth certificate and the guy that passed was not my father. That was one of her past husbands that passed. She is on her third guy I think. My dad and her are separated. I think that’s fine but someone is lying to me. In a video I got, my biological mother told me that the reason that she gave me and my twin sister (who has cerebral palsy) was because my father was being abusive and that he made her do it. She said that he never wanted us. She also has many other kids and has given another child up who is around 3 years older than Reagan and I. I then contacted my sister who was really close to my father and she is telling me that my mother is the one who never wanted my sister and I. So I really don’t know who to trust and i just don’t want to go visit my family if they are just going to complain about the other. I’m not mad at either one of them, I just want to know the truth. Just the fact that I’ve got some family lying to me, it’s making it hard to make my decision. I was just wanting your input on what I should do. Family means a lot to me and I’d like to visit them desperately, but don’t want to be surrounded by complaining and lies along the way. Thanks! -Jacob
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