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My husband and myself would like
To adopt from state care. We have taken all the classes and are about to complete all the home study visits. We would like to adopt a girl age 6-12. Possibly siblings.
My adult (25) daughter recently moved back home, temporarily, as I am of the mind set that you do your adult child no favors by supporting them long term. She has expressed she is not on board with us adopting because she would feel displaced. The social
Worker told me that we could get to the point of being licensed but then the process would be put on hold because of how my daughter feels.
I am conflicted. I completely understand my daughters feelings and empathize with her. But yet, she’s an adult. Should she have any or all say in our decision? I am frustrated. Trying not to be. With all that being said, she wouldn’t be mean to the child, she would be distant and do her own thing. Which she does now.
Have any of you experiences this? Was it resolved? If so, how?
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It sounds to me like she is either jealous/doesn't want to share parents, doesn't want to have to be bothered by a younger person around the house, or is insecure in her position as your daughter. All of these things are vert SELF focused of her. Imagine if you told her that you were both trying to conceive and she responded with by telling you that she was not on board with the idea because it would somehow take away from her.
Either you need to be able to reach her as far as what is going on with her emotionally that she is having so much difficulty with the idea, or she is being very self centered and may need you to lay down the law that she can't dictate to you wether to expand the family or not. She does not seem to be respecting you as parents if thats the case. I wish i could give advice on how best to resolve the issue in a way that wouldn't tangle up your adoption process. Has there been any progress? If so please update us
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It sounds to me like she is either jealous/doesn't want to share parents, doesn't want to have to be bothered by a younger person around the house, or is insecure in her position as your daughter. All of these things are vert SELF focused of her. Imagine if you told her that you were both trying to conceive and she responded with by telling you that she was not on board with the idea because it would somehow take away from her.
Either you need to be able to reach her as far as what is going on with her emotionally that she is having so much difficulty with the idea, or she is being very self centered and may need you to lay down the law that she can't dictate to you wether to expand the family or not. She does not seem to be respecting you as parents if thats the case. I wish i could give advice on how best to resolve the issue in a way that wouldn't tangle up your adoption process. Has there been any progress? If so please update us
Most likely she will fall in love with said child once it's over anyway. 25? Really? Sounds more like 15. I can't believe the social worker said that her feelings are even in consideration. Do you get to determine if/when and how many kids she has too?