I’m 34 years old, and have met both my biological mother and father who did not stay together.
Meeting my biological father was quick and easy he was happy to meet and answer any questions I had. We met maybe 3 times, I was amazed at how similar we wear. But then it fizzled out- he is separated and has one other son who is a teenager who does not know about me. Truth is I wanted more contact but felt it was easier for him (and less complicated) to keep me at arms reach from the rest of his life.
I met my biological mother twice who has lived in another country since the adoption. She re-married and has 3 kids. Her husband doesn’t know she met me and her kids don’t know I exist. I would love to have a relationship with her and meet her children / my brother and sisters. But she has barely kept contact , mentioning that she’ll be in touch soon, but really it has been 2 texts a year since we met 4 years ago. She hinted that it would be difficult for her to tell them about me because it’s a secret and they may think less of her, but also asked if I’d like to meet them some time. This is a year ago. Kids ages are about 17 to 23. She gave me just enough information so that I could find them on facebook. They look like me and have similar interests. I don’t know what to do, I don’t think she is ready to tell them and think it would be bad to contact them directly? What’s your thoughts?
Is it selfish of me? I have a good life. Is this messing with other peoples lives? What have people found as the benefit of having a reunion. This has left me wanting more but feeling kind of empty or unfulfilled or maybe even a little rejected by this so far. Maybe I should just forget it and move on? But perhaps it will always be something that crosses my mind.
How did this affect your adoptive family / what did your adoptive brothers or sisters think?