Foster Child obsessed with family pets.

Hi Warriormom, our current placement has off and on been obsessed with our cats. She'd stop what she was doing and go and pick them up and wouldn't leave them be. She has seperation anxiety as well as abandonment issues (among the many other issues she unfortunately has to deal with on a daily basis). From the get go we've had to tell her to be gentle, how to properly pick them up, when to let them down and to "listen" to the pets as they'll tell a person quickly if they aren't liking what's being done to them. She'd also constantly try and feed them what she was eating (candy, ice cream, waffle etc). She has gotten better however does still regress at times when it comes to the pets. I think in many children the lack of exposure to animals (and how to properly care for and respect them) as well as the fact that most foster children are emotionally and mentally a few years behind contributes to the severe behavior kids exhibit towards them. Younger children expecially have a hard time due to learning hand eye coordination, strength and boundaries. In cases of abuse/neglect the kids no doubt see abuse and ill behavior not only towards themselves but the animals as well. I think in the case of bonding and feeling safe foster children may also see pets as safer to talk to as well as be around however in terms of "Do you love me?" and those sorts of questions I'd watch any foster children around pets as rejection can open the flood doors to resentment and violent actions towards the pet they feel "doesn't love them". I don't know how old your current placement is but I'd set her down/call her over and start talking to her about what behaviors towards the pets are acceptable and keep an eye on her at all times. Also have her interact with the pets in good ways (brushing, petting, feeding food/water and teaching her how to care for the animal and what's safe for them), so hopefully she understands how to treat them (and respect them). Reinforcing that she can't just go grab them and that pets "have their own personalities and need space too" would be a good idea as well. Good luck mama!

My adopted child is also very fond of cats, I would even say fanatically. But I allow her this because in her life she felt a lack of human love and compensates for this through cat hugs. She can lie with the cat on the couch for hours and the cat kneads her leg or stomach with its paws, and this calms my child. After reading the article why do cats knead , I do not find the cat's behavior strange and if the child likes it, I will not interfere with such communication.