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I’m so over being a mom. I hate it with my entire being. I have a 1 year old daughter who is awesome but I hate being her mom. I never wanted kids because I never wanted to be responsible for another person every need. I feel like I knew this my entire life. I never wanted to be a parent especially not a single parent. I got pregnant at 22 mistakenly and wanted an abortion so bad. But no one around me approved. My sisters, my mom, and my boyfriend opposed the idea of an abortion. They all insisted that once I had her I would be ok being a parent. So I had her because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone and I Hoped they were right. My bf and I broke up the day she was born and 2 weeks after that I was ready to give her to him to take care of. They all opposed again saying that she was too young and after a while a bond would form and I would want her. Now a year later I’m still regretting not getting an abortion. Which I’m ashamed to admit. I hate everything about being a mom. I have no freedom and I hate myself for being a single parent. I can’t do laundry, go on a date, go to school, or even a walk without considering where my daughter will be. Asking someone to watch her is such a burden because now I have to repay them for allowing me time to myself. While her father is free from all those constructions. I literally cry every single day. I hate arriving to my house to the crying and needing of every part of me. I want to run away and never look back. I’m thinking of giving her up for adoption. That feels like the best option. She hasn’t done anything wrong. She didn’t ask to be here and doesn’t deserve a parent who doesn’t want her let alone 2.
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Hi there it sounds like your having a hard time dealing with being a mom, have you tried joining a young moms single group it may help. With that and I have a high regard of respect for you truly trying to be a good mom and you know something because you want the best for your daughter you are a good mom.
However if you truly feel you just can’t handle being a young mom because you are young and want to go forward without a child, I would love to be a mom to your daughter. I was pregnant for the first time nine years ago I was 39 and it was the only time I got pregnant. At 2/1/2 months approx I lost the baby. I was devastated. We have tried ever since but no luck. Neither one of us believes in fertility drugs and all the poking and prodding doctors do to help get you pregnant.
The agencies want so much money I don’t get that is t a good family home better than money all those children that need someone to love stuck in foster homes.
If you are or consider giving your daughter up to someone please contact me for info.
Here is a little bit about myself, I am now fifty years old no children been with one guy since I was 21 but I live in our rv which is temporary until we build our raw land up to being livable. Hopefully we will be on our own property in a few years moved in. We own the land outright no mortgage. So hubby lives and works in the bush. He is a logger .We are both older, people don’t believe me when I tell them my age. I’m like a 30 year old.
I work and live on my boss’s farm in my rv . I look after the farm full time which is ideal if I had a child because I’m always home. No sitters. I work part time at the racetrack on race days but I have family to look after my child if I had a child. I do have animals, and treat them like my own children but always the child always always comes first.
I do live in BC Canada so if your in the US I’m not sure how that works. Also I don’t think an agency would approve of an rv even on temporary basis as a home for adopting. Another reason I want to try finding a child to love. If I don’t then I will go with a young adult that wants to have a mom.
You can let me know your decision no one should put pressure on you to go one way or the other with this decision. This is a lifelong decision that is your choice and no one else’s and your family should abide and support whichever you chose. Goodness knows it’s not an easy one.
I wish you all the best my friend if you want to talk even if you decide to keep your daughter send me a note. Ok you take care.
I’m so over being a mom. I hate it with my entire being. I have a 1 year old daughter who is awesome but I hate being her mom. I never wanted kids because I never wanted to be responsible for another person every need. I feel like I knew this my entire life. I never wanted to be a parent especially not a single parent. I got pregnant at 22 mistakenly and wanted an abortion so bad. But no one around me approved. My sisters, my mom, and my boyfriend opposed the idea of an abortion. They all insisted that once I had her I would be ok being a parent. So I had her because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone and I Hoped they were right. My bf and I broke up the day she was born and 2 weeks after that I was ready to give her to him to take care of. They all opposed again saying that she was too young and after a while a bond would form and I would want her. Now a year later I’m still regretting not getting an abortion. Which I’m ashamed to admit. I hate everything about being a mom. I have no freedom and I hate myself for being a single parent. I can’t do laundry, go on a date, go to school, or even a walk without considering where my daughter will be. Asking someone to watch her is such a burden because now I have to repay them for allowing me time to myself. While her father is free from all those constructions. I literally cry every single day. I hate arriving to my house to the crying and needing of every part of me. I want to run away and never look back. I’m thinking of giving her up for adoption. That feels like the best option. She hasn’t done anything wrong. She didn’t ask to be here and doesn’t deserve a parent who doesn’t want her let alone 2.
Hi Elani -
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time being a mom. You are right - it is not for everyone, and it's okay that it's not. I think it's brave of you to now realize that adoption would be the best thing for your daughter. You are right - it isn't good for a child to grow up feeling like they are not wanted, and there are many loving parents who would want to become parents to your daughter and to keep an open adoption, if you desired that, so you could always know how she is doing.
If I were you, I would reach out to some adoption consultants we used when we adopted our beautiful daughter. They are A Step Ahead Adoptions out of Colorado Springs, CO. https://astepaheadadoption.com - They help place newborn babies all the way up to teens, so they will know how to help you.
So, what they would do is talk to you about what you would like to see happen here and what they ideal family would be for your daughter. The have a national network of background checked, home study approved, ready-to-adopt families looking to adopt a child like yours. It's really possible that you might be matched with a family in your area, again, if you decided that you would like to have some contact.
They would then present you with a stack of possible parents who have indicated that they are interested in adopting your little girl, and who you get to look at and decide who is the right one. You will see complete profile books, including pictures and detailed information about all of them, which will help you to see that 1. there are a LOT of people who would want to love your daughter as parents, and 2. that you can find a great set of parents that you will feel comfortable with.
PLEASE do not allow your family guilt you into keeping this child when you do not want to. It is NOT their decision, it is YOURS. Your ex-boyfriend is doing nothing to help; he gets no say. Your family is not the one trying to parent your daughter, YOU are. It is not for anyone's good for you to keep a child that you do not want to parent.
Please give this little girl a chance to grow up in a family that wants her. You do not even have to tell anyone in your family what you are doing while you are exploring this. Just do the thing that you've known all along is right for you and for your daughter. Please reach out to A Step Ahead - they will help you. They are good people who genuinely care about you, your child, and finding the right parents.
You are welcome to message me if you want any other help or to find out anything else, but you can also just reach out directly to A Step Ahead and Diane or someone there will definitely help you. There is an answer here that will allow you to be happy and healthy and for your daughter to be healthy and happy, too.
Sending you love as you step forward in your decision.
You're right. A child that grows feeling like they're not wanted, that is the worst thing. There is an adoption site, America's Adoption Agency, (pretty popular and trustworthy, as you may judge by the title,) with registered waiting parents and many other tools - americanadoptions.com
You can sort the type of parents you're looking for your baby and have a good look at their profiles, all of which were deemed fit to adopt a child. There you can read about their more personal info, ways to contact them, their plans for the future, their ways to raise a child, a peek into their lives, their jobs, where they live, their life-styles, their close family and extended family, how you can keep contact with them, etc. There are couples, and single parents. You can sort by religion (or lack there of), race (or multiracial), how many children they have if they have any, how many children they want, even their sexual orientations. I've went through many of their profiles and found many really fit and loving. I really hope this helps.
Last update on December 16, 10:05 pm by Psyche Coulson.
Elani, Hi. I'm new here. Do you still have your daughter? I would love to have her! Will you write to me at patricia.steele2@aol.com, please? Thank-you, Patty
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Hi Elani - I realize this post is from several months ago. I hope you and your kiddo are doing well and have been able to work through some of the challenges. It sounds like you were a bit overwhelmed and need to have a solid support network to help you through this. May I ask if you're still struggling, and if so where you live?