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I was a single mom from 1989 until 2001. I married my husband in 2001 and we blended his 3 with my 1. We had moments and I knew it would be tough as my only bio child had luved a very good life with alot of possessions, attention, undivided love and such! We made it through and when our kids were 14, 16, 16 and 18 (oldest was at college) we fostered 2 little girls. The oldest was 8 and the youngest 10 weeks. We all became attached to the baby immediately. years went by and my bio daughter was so attached she argued that if we didnt keep her.( we were NOT foster to adopt) she would petition to keep her herself. After 6 years and many family discussions, adoption therapy and even our own attempts at finding the girls forever homes we adopted them both. Well now the jealousy is hitting super hard. Our youngest is the only one at home, she is the baby, she isnt exposed to cousins her age or siblings her age. She is immature, has some AdHD issues, a small learning disability, has few friends, and yes at 13 aren't all kids annoying? She does a few daily chores just like the other kids did but honestly I am an older parent (50 this year) and I am NOT that stressed. I went from having 6/7 & sometimes 8 kids at home to 1 so laundry, dishes, housework isnt that big of a deal like it was when everyone was home. My bio daughter has 4 beautiful amazing children that I love unconditionally BUT she HATES the 13 year old. The same child she encouraged us to keep. Today she was incredibly cruel and rude to me about her. I didnt defend her I merely told her how disappointed I was that at 30 she could be so cruel. Ultimately as the conversation went on I said " She is just as much my daughter as you are" That apparently crossed the line 110% because I have been hninvited to my granddaughters 6th birthday and told to never contact my own daughter again. I am heartbroken on both accounts...why does she hate this 13 year old and what did I do by loving another child to ruin my adult daughters life? Should I just hold right and stand my ground that she is being immature and jealous or should I beg for forgiveness? I mean does she think I can love this 10 week old baby for 13.5 years and just return her saying " My daughter wants all Mommys attention for herself and her kids so find her another home!"
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