Hi. So, im not a birth parent, but a birth sibling. I dont know anything, aside from the first name of, about my little brother who was adopted out at birth ~13 years ago. Ive asked around in my family and it seems im the only one who thinks of him, and i do often.
I had a horrible, confusing childhood and a dysfunctional family with a lot of issues, im so, so happy he was able to avoid it all, but, i really wish i knew him. Im 18, almost 19, and i believe hes about 13 now, and i would hate to disrupt anything in his life. It was supposed to be an open adoption, but things on the birth side became very chaotic and we lost touch about a year after he was born.
Is there anyway for me to feel a form of closure? Aside from just wanting to know what hes like, it also brings me great anxiety knowing he could potentially hate me. Im transgender, and only 1/3rd of my family is accepting. Would he hate to know that one of his birth brothers is like this? I have a lot of feelings about all of this and it makes me feel really stupid.
I hope hes as good of a person as i know he can be.
I know i cant talk to him, but i wish he knew that i love him.