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Hi everyone! I spent a lot of time trying to figure out which forum to place this thread in and I'm still unsure but I hope I'm in the right place, as I don't want to take up critical space for adoptees! In July of this year, I found out through Ancestry that I have an older half-brother who my mother relinquished when she was 16 years old. He is now 31. My mother never told me or my younger 2 siblings (all kept) about the adoption, so the entire situation is a surprise to us all. I am very pleasantly surprised. Since the Ancestry match, my younger sister has been in contact with our brother. My mother has also been in very brief contact. While I tried reaching out originally, he was only responsive to my mother and sister. Both my mother and sister were defensive when speaking to him, as is their nature, so I tried reaching out from a softer, more accepting perspective. Over the weekend, a few months after I wrote to him, he began to reply to me. I think maybe part of his taking so long to reply was because he was turned off by my mother and sister's original reactions (which weren't cruel, but weren't welcoming, either). We've been talking and it's been really great to hear from him. I'm writing on this forum because I'd like to get advice from other adoptees on how I, as a newfound biological sister, can be the most supportive to my brother. Most recently, I shared photos of his birth mother (my mom) with him and he is now not replying. I'm worried that the pictures have upset him, but I want to give him time to process. What tips do you have on being a welcoming and supportive bio family member who recently connected with their adopted sibling? How can I make sure my brother knows that I am excited to talk to (and eventually meet) him, to answer his questions to the best of my ability, and to hopefully help facilitate a meeting between him and his birth mom (which he has expressed wanting)? As a side note, if any other bio siblings read this, how have you worked through your own sort of sadness of having a sibling who was relinquished? I am experiencing incredible happiness with being connected, but also a deep sense of loss and sadness. Thank you for reading this and for any help you can give!
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