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I was adopted when I was 2, I have wanted to find who my bmom/dad but since I was adopted I don't want to at the same time. My family is going through a tough time and I feel like I am the problem. I feel like I was the reason I was put up for adoption, the only person I am blood related is my sister. I feel really alone, sometimes I feel like I am a failure to people and that there really isn't a reason to be here, I feel like i'm a screw up. I feel depressed and I am tearing my family apart and don't know why they still love me. I think I need help but don't think it will help me, I don't know who I am or what my purpose in life is, to me I don't think there is a purpose for a person like me who was adopted at the age of 2. People say that I was a failed abortion and I try to shake it off but I know it will stick to me. My sister says I need help. She is the only person who I truly love, but is it bad that I don't trust anyone else? And why do I feel like this? Im 15 and still don't know who I am and why I exist. I'm depressed all the time, but don't know what to do, and I don't feel like there is a purpose for me on this earth, and why was I put up for adoption. Please tell my why.
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Hey Jonathan,I feel a similar type of despair. Except I don't feel like there is anyone who really cares.I envy women who have husbands, fathers, sons, brothers who adore them. Will lay their lives down for them.I never had that. I crave that. I have experienced severe social-emotional deprivation for most of my life, and it has made me deeply philosophical, but a bit dysfunctional in some ways.I want a loving caring father who will adopt me, unconditionally. Accept and love me as I am. Without expectation of gratitude.Please tell me he's out there.
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Jonathan, you have a purpose, you just may not know all of it right now. The awesome thing is you don't need to know and understand it all right now. When you were placed for adoption, it was in no way your fault. It was a choice your birthparents had to make, but rarely is it ever a choice made lightly. Usually it's agonizing, and they deal with a lot of guilt for years and years. You are special and unique. It does sound like you need to find someone to help you deal with all your emotions. Have someone help you find a trusted counselor you can talk to. I promise it will help if you truly work at it. You are a gift to your adopted family.
Last update on February 6, 10:39 pm by Erin Goeken.