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Good Morning - My wife and I are looking for advice / suggestions for a troubling situation; please... We are adoptive parents of a child who we took home from the hospital over 4 months ago. Recently when the assumed bio father didn't appear for court, the bio mother requested a paternity test where it was discovered that the bio father was actually her boyfriend and not the guy originally thought who signed the birth certificate. The real bio father has now expressed interest in parenting which is terrifying to us. Below are a few key notes about this situation which I thought would be shorter than writing an essay... - The real bio father knew about baby from day one as he has lived with birth mother on and off therefore knowing it could be his - Not once has he reached out for any information. We know he has our numbers as she used his phone to text us sometimes when she couldn't afford phone bill (for phone we bought her) - Birth mother has already signed away her rights however found this morning that she can still claim since adoption isn't finalized - He dropped her off at appointments prior to birth however never attended any nor went to hospital for birth - There is / was drug use (methamphetamine + others?) with both. Birth mother wasn't allowed to breast feed baby in hospital since she tested as using within hours of birth - Having been our son for 4+ months, we are all attached (especially between baby & my wife) including his very young sibling (also adopted from different family) - Bio parents have minimal income and based on accounts live in place not fit for baby - definitely not what he's accustomed to - We discovered his desire to parent via text from birth mother late one night + adoption agency adopting / parenting - Have talked to adoption agency and are considering asking lawyer to immediately file for abandonment - It is an open adoption and we have said that we would be as open as they wanted. This includes occasional conversations and weekly sharing of pictures currently. No in-person visits have been made yet, but was at birth moths request to wait for that. Overall, if assumed bio father had shown up for court, this would probably all be over with and adoption finalized. it's a very difficult situation and my wife hasn't slept since the first word of it. I just wanted to post to see if anyone had been through this (or not) and may have any suggestions or tips which may assist. Thank You!
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