Wanting to Adopt a Baby While Single

March 25, 2020

Good day everyone,

My name is Stella and I'm a nearly 24 year old young woman who has a really big dream. My dream is wanting to have a baby someday to love and raise as my own. At first I was wanting to have a baby naturally, but for one reason or another, it looks like that just won't be the case for me; at least not for the longest while. First, there is the consideration that I've still never had my first boyfriend, let alone a husband. Secondly, I have a very strong feeling that I will end up running into fertility issues if the time ever comes where I can start trying for a baby naturally.

I'm going to be honest in saying that the prospect of my not having my own baby naturally caused me much grief. Sometimes it still hurts, but now I'm starting to realize that it's not the biology that makes the family. It's the love that makes a family. So now I'm looking into adoption. I looked into it last year just to see what the process would look like, but that time I looked at the process assuming that I would be married at the time I tried to adopt. Now that's not looking quite as likely, realistically speaking. It's not that men don't like me, it's just that I have trouble reciprocating their feelings or finding anyone that isn't already spoken for. Because of this, I may have to go through with the adoption process by myself.

I've brought up wanting to adopt with my family members recently, and they seem supportive. They don't know that I may want to do it while still being single, but I'll bring that up when the time gets closer. First, I'll have to save up for my own house and adjust to that for a bit before trying to adopt. When I'm ready to try, I'm going to try to do a domestic adoption for a baby. By that time, I should be at the very least 27 or 28 years old.

I expressed this want to adopt in another online group, and sadly I got some responses calling me selfish for wanting to adopt while single, along with someone expressing in a really rude way that I'm "not that old" and can wait to have my own child or get married. I don't expect everyone to agree with my decision, but I wish the stigma against single parents would stop someday. It's not fair to the parents or the children of such families. Hopefully my family will be more understanding when it comes time for me to start the adoption process someday. In the meantime, however, I'm not going to let the "haters" stop me from dreaming and working towards my goal of becoming a mother someday. I'll do what it takes to be the best mom that I can, and I'm going to do so with grace.

I'm very glad that this sub-forum exists on this website, by the way. It really helps me to feel less alone and less crazy for the decision that I'm strongly considering right now.

Renee Duran

April 8, 2020

I am married and have a family and I have been trying to adopt for almost two years now without any luck, so I'd say single parents may have a tougher road. My husband and I are both therapists, we have three of our own children and we live in a middle class neighborhood. We want to offer a child a stable home and support. At this point, it seems to be the impossible dream.

We were looking for a younger child since our youngest is 6. All we get told is how impossible it is to get any child under 10. And this not only includes our state but the two other nearby states we have tried to contact. We have also tried international adoption, though we can hardly afford it. No go there either.

We are at the point we are thinking about giving up. I'm not sure where all the kids are that I see on those tearjerker commercials and ads are, but apparently they don't exist, at least in our situation.