Hello, I’m on here to see if I can get some advice.
My husband reunited a little over a year ago with his bio-mom. He was adopted as a newborn and is now in his thirties. Searched out because he just always wondered about his biological side. Plus curious of health background etc...
Anyways, so he made contact a little over a year ago. She ended up coming states away to meet him shortly after. Following that, they would talk every so often on messenger. Then shortly we formed a group chat and would talk from time to time. Then things as of late took a turn. We are having a baby, due in March. We have been busy and try not to be on our phones that much. Plus we have both don’t care to be messaging back and forth with someone else on a daily, regular basis... she had begun messaging us before 8 a.m. most mornings to say good morning and then it would just be all day. My husband and I have each other for that kind of 24/7 relationship.... Well, neither one of us responded to one of her messages for about a week because we didn’t get on messenger and had decided we need to try something to see if she chills out. Apparently she was sending stuff still throughout that week. I then check our mail and find a box full of gifts and a card, the card was sent about 2 days in of not responding to something she said “I miss our conversations and messaging”.... Well we had to call at that point cause it would be super rude, to not thank her for the gifts. (Need the gifting to stop too). She answered and immediately was digging into both of us for not responding to her messages even said “guess I see what I have to do for a response”-which is referring to a gift! I quickly respond, well we have our lives going on and just don’t want to be on the phone all day. She snaps back at me “you both can atleast answer me when I message”..... I fell silent after that. Cause I had nothing nice to say. My husband continued to conversation for another minute or two and she kept on about us not responding. Saying I told my friend I didn’t know why I was being shunned, you guys haven’t talked to me in weeks... it had only been 7 days. There were red flags we missed starting this what we saw as a friendship. She would say things to him like “I have time to make up for” he would ignore cause it’s awkward. Another is she lived with her mother her whole life so probably had that all day relationship with her and she passed shortly before my husband reached out. She would say some things too forward as if she thought of him as her son... She would mention moving in the future , and the area we are moving too....He has a mother and family and was/is not searching for that with this person. She became clingy, and pissy even if we didn’t acknowledge her message by a half day. Sometimes the message was just an emoji...
What truly sucks, is we all were getting along good. And even said, she could know our baby in the future (we spoke too soon). But then all of this happened and a very controlling, needy, dependency issue side of her came out hard core... We don’t really know how to move forward. Tried saying we don’t want to respond regularly and she argued that and was rude like how dare we. Tried just not responding.
Last update on December 10, 5:20 pm by Erin Jones.