So I was adopted in the 60s. I'm in my 50's now. I finally decided to search for my birth mom, and I found her.
Here's the situation:
My birth mom got pregnant when she was a teenager. In the 60s, that was really shameful. Her parents and his parents forced them to 'get rid of the problem' (me).
I found her now.
She told me that she is married to my birth father, and they have 2 kids. These kids would be my full blood brother and sister. I look identical to her husband and kids. The family resemblance is incredible.
I would love to meet them, and develop a relationship with them. My birth parents are early 70s, my siblings in their late 40s.
However, mom is very ashamed that she gave me up, especially given that she is married to my birth father. She is afraid of the shame it will bring to tell them that her and dad gave up their older brother due to peer pressure.
She wants to maintain a relationship with me, but does not want to tell my birth father, or my siblings. She does want to meet my kids, which are of course, her grandchildren.
I want to respect her wishes.
But I really feel I have a right to meet my birth father, as well as my full blood siblings.
How does a person deal with this situation? Above all, I do not want to cause problems in their family, but I also feel, this is my family. This is my blood, and I feel I have a right to meet them.
What do you do?