Seeking Feedback from Adult Adoptees

Our son, adopted at birth, now 36, disconnected emotionally from us and the extended families when his first child was born. His wife keeps us in the loop, and he's cordial and pleasant when we see them, but we never hear from him directly. Have you had a similar experience?

As a parent I can imagine how hard this is. I was adopted at birth. Did you always tell your son he was adopted? Does he know now? I would consider his behavior being completely unrelated to his adoption. I do know sometimes sons pull away more when they begin their own families but it sounds as if his wife is supportive . Why don't you have an honest conversation with him to see if he will open up and share.

Hi Jim, of course there's many possible reasons for your sons behaviour however I would not rule out that there's alot more to his behaviour than it may seem. Complex PTSD is only starting to be acknowledged in regards to adoption. Personally, I was adopted and I did exactly what your son has done and I've heard of several other adoption stories where that's exactly what happened. It's difficult to explain why, that's why they call it complex. If possible it would be good for your son to get counselling but the challenge is that most adoptees don't even know how much they've been impacted.