Urinating & Deficating in Bedroom

Graham, You have some interesting ideas about decorating the bathroom.. but my heart tells me it isn't really about the bathroom... but there has also been nonsense in the bathroom as well. Many items which should not have been flushable - have somehow found their way into the toilet... but that is another story. lol I know that some of the abuse took place in the bathroom, but I think the nail on the head is the Control issue. We went through games with food as well... Until we (the parents) decided that we were not going to battle over food... The funny thing is that the toileting challenges have increased as the food challenges subsided. My children have such tremendous emotional damage to repair. It was not until they were placed in our home that they began showering without a naked adult in the shower with them. We are still teaching them how to wash and wipe themselves. I think the bottom line is the control. They are dealing with some issues with respect to some of the abuse that they experienced..They have to be so frightened by learning new things in our home.. Right now I don't have an answer for myself -- we just have to endure these trenches(as I call the first couple of years after placement) until the children work out what they need to.. and until they learn that no matter how bad they act, that we still call them good kids, and that we still love them - no matter what. Thank you for your ideas.. I will definately talk to my husband to see what we can do. It is not, however possible for us to rearrange the bedroom situation. We only have one bathroom and it's located between the bedrooms.. Thanks again, Heather