Questions to Ask a Birthmom

Gonnabeadaddy- Sorry it took so long to reply! I'm glad that I was able to provide some insight and I hope you and your wife have become a little more settled about everything, now on to your questions... You said in your response to me... "My biggest priority is not to offend her or make her feel less of a person. She is the most amazing person and some one I can tell my kids about. We are excited." If you want my opinion I think sharing that exact statement with her would do a world of good. Share with her how amazing you think she is and how blessed you feel, those are the most wonderful words I could hear you say about her and I'm sure she would love to hear them too! My situation in choosing aparents was a little different. When I found out I was pregnant my father told me about a man he knew and his wife, he told me their story of trying to conceive he told me that they were a really Godly couple and that they had been married for 10 years, after several weeks I decided that I wanted to get to know them better. They lived in Va at the time and I lived in Tx but he was planning on coming down for an interview so we based our meeting around that. To be honest I wanted to not like them when I first met them, I didn't want to think that they could be good enough for my baby. But after spending a couple of hours with them, I couldn't help but like them. I really felt a connection with the amom, she was so loving and so nurturing. They ended up accepting the job in Texas only about 45 minutes away from us. They were originally from Texas so they really wanted to return anyway. We spent some more time getting to know each other they went through the homestudy and all of that and I even stayed with them for a week just to get to know them better. I was nervous that they would judge me and nervous that they thought I was just some dumb girl who got knocked up, but they treated me with respect and even admiration. They kept me updated on how they were preparing and even asked me about what I liked when i was a kid and if I or my parents remembered any books or toys that I really loved. It made me feel like they really wanted to honor my presence in this baby's life. I basically just wanted to know that they would raise her with morals and values and that she would know who I was and that I loved her. And after hearing the way they spoke to and about me I knew they would share all of that with her. Everyone is nervous at that first meeting, my advice to you is don't go into it expecting too much. Present yourselves as you are and give her space to absorb that. This is an enormous decision for her and I believe that you see and can respect that, just make sure she knows that you do. You sound like you really on the right track and I applaud your willingness to receive input. When are you anticipating your first meeting? Will you be there at the birth? How far along is she? I would love to hear more about your situation and to keep up to date on your progress, if you have anymore questions at all ask away!! If you are uncomfortable talking too much on the forum, feel free to email me at matri_520@msn.com. Jesi