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Each province is different. I live in Nova Scotia, and we had a fabulous time! After the baby is born, he is placed in a receiving home for 17 days. The bmother has that time to change her mind. On day 16 they contact the selected aparents that they will be getting a baby the next day. On day 17 bmother signs the papers and says goodby to the baby in the morning and then aparents go in the afternoon, sign the papers and meet baby. After 6 months of follow up visits, the official paper work is sent to the courts, everything is finalized and you get baby's birth certificate with his adopted name.
Where are you from?
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We live in Calfornia. We adopted throught he fost/adopt program. Grace came into our lives at 9 months old after being in foster care her whole little life. She was a preemie with no prenatal care, so basically, the bparents were never involved in her life. We were able to adopt her last January when she was 2 1/2 years. It was a long road, but so worth it! She completes our family so perfectly! God is good!
Blessings,
sherryk
I am so happy to hear about a nova scotia adoption. We are going through the process now, and I was wondering about the 17 day waiting period. So do you really find out one day and then have your baby the next?? I know after all the waiting it is not a short process, but getting that phone call would really be exciting. Did you have everything prepared in anticipation, or just wait until it happened? We have bio children, so this process will be a lot different, but hopefully wonderful! Tell me all you can, please!
Are you adopting through Children's Aid or a "private" agency. We are in Halifax and adopted through Home of the Guardian Angel.
Our situation was slightly different as we were involved in a designated adoption. An acquaintance from work, who knew we were trying to conceive a baby, approached my partner one day and asked her if we had ever considered adoption as her sister was 6 months pregnant. Her sister wanted to place the baby with a couple that she had had the opportunity to meet and not just a couple that she read about in an agency's binder. We discussed it and decided to meet with her. We all clicked, and she called us later that day to say that she wanted us to adopt her baby!!
She then had to sign Designated Adoption papers that named us specifically as the adopting parents. We had 3 months until she was due to get a home study done (these usually take 6-9 months). She wanted us there for the birth, so we got the call one night at midnight and we trouped down to be with her. At the last minute she had to have a c-section, and could only have one person in the OR with her, so her sister went in. The staff at the IWK were great and took our camera in and took pics for us as soon as he was born.
We got to spend 3 days at the hospital, in our own room with Liam. We got to do all the feedings, baths etc... His bmother was in another room in another wing. She decided from the get go that she did not want to see him. She was fabulous. She told all the staff that he was our baby and that all decisions should be made by us. She even sent the Welcome Wagon lady down to see us!
When he was ready to be released from the hospital, the SW for HGA picked him up and took him to the receiving home. Again, because it was a designated adoption, his bmother gave us permission (actually insisted that HGA let us) to visit him in the receiving home during the 17 days. So we've been with him everyday of his life!
On day 17, his bmother went in and signed all her paperwork. She declined the option to see him that day. After she left, the foster mother brough him in and we went in to sign our paper work and left with our baby!! What a fabulous day!
Because we were 99% confident that she was not going to change her mind during the 17 days, we had a nursery all set up, clothes, bottles etc.. ready to go.
With NS adoptions that are not designated, the bmother selects a family from their bios. They are not contacted until day 16. We have heard of people being on a list for 4 years + and then getting "The Call" out of the blue and having a baby the next day!
I would almost have wanted to go this route (not that I would have wanted to miss one second of Liam's life) because the stress of falling in love with this beautiful baby for 17 days and know that there is even the slightest chance of the bmother changing her mind is gut-wrenching. At first on the day we were to pick him up I refused to get out of the car, and then I refused to bring the car seat into the agency, as I was so scared that he wasn't going to be there. My partner finally snapped me out of it and we went in and there he was!!
Once the 17 days are over, and the bmother has signed her paperwork, she has no legal recourse to change her mind, and you have no risk of losing the baby. The agency does 5-6 monthly follow up visits, writes up a report for the goverment, who then sends the paperwork to your lawyer. Your lawyer then books a court date with Family Court, goes and represents you (we are going to go along to for the celebration) and then the judge makes it legal and you get your babies birth certificate. From the time the baby is in your home, this all takes 7-9 months, depending on how backed up the courts are.
Also, in NS, we get 8 months parental leave, and not the 1 year maternity leave that our non-adopting co-workers get. The difference is the medical leave given to bmothers.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that I have been able to answer some of your questions. let me know how things are going for you
Thanks for all the info. We are in NS and going through HOTGA as well, but not with a designated, unless we happen to find that situation. I have heard of the long waits, but I am hopeful that the fact that we are a biracial couple may shorten our time, since they want to place babies with similar backgrounds. The worker at Guardian Angel gave us that impression anyway. You were fortunate to be able to be there from day one with your son, although the nerves must have been unbelievable! I think the call one day and the baby the next when all is said and done would be pretty nice. Did you find the homestudy difficult? Do you retain a lawyer right away? Sorry for being such a pest, but getting this information has been so helpful, and sometimes the waiting can get frustrating! Thank you, thank you !
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You're not a pest at all. It's great to be able to help out others. Even though our wait was only 3 months, I don't think I would have made it without the support of everyone!
Everyone at HGA is wonderfull and so helpful. They have a Christmas party ever year for all the children they have placed and their afamilies so that you can meet other aparents and "network".
Again, because of the designated adoption, we had to have our homestudy done by an independant SW and not someone from HGA. But HGA gave us their initial questionaire for the home study. We each had to answer 49!!!! essay questions about our life, our own families, views on religion, views on adoption, even how we found out about the birds and the bees :p ! This was a bit overwhelming, because we weren't supposed to discuss our answers. So you wonder what your partner is writting, and when the SW compares them what they will think!!
The actual home study wasn't as bad as we expected. The SW only came to the house once, the rest were at her office. Mostly we talked about our childhoods, our view on parenting etc... She did ask some tough questions like "So tell me why you love your spouse." Being put on the spot in front of someone is always tough! The visit at home wasn't the "white glove" bit that everyone fears. She had a quick tour of the house, wrote down the number of rooms etc... and then we picked up from where we left off with the last meeting.
You don't have to retain a lawyer until the follow up visits are done and the paper work is sent off to the goverment. We called around to a bunch before we picked one. The average cost is $1200-$1500.