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Hi Mama,
I have just joined, and saw your post when searching Google. I recently received permanent custody of my grandson (2yo). All I can do is share my experience, and I am hoping to get to talk to a few other people who have had some experience as well!
I chose permanent custody vs. adoption for several reasons. The main one being that if the parents ever straighten out their lives to the point that they could care for their son, I wanted them to be able to. Permanent custody allows that to happen. While they would have to go through the courts to regain custody, it would nevertheless be easier than reversing an adoption (can that even be done?). I still hold out hope that some day they will reach a point in their lives where they will be responsible. If not, I still have full rights to raise my grandchild as I see fit, to live as I see fit. It is sometimes a mess dealing with Social Services, but if I were in a financially secure enough situation where I did not need the support, this problem could be eliminated.
That is the other reason I chose custody. I needed the financial support, little tho it is It at least pays the day care so I can work to support him and myself. If I had adopted, social services offers no financial assistance, other than low income assistance. Basically, it came down to what I needed to do financially at this time.
Wishing you all of the best in your venture with your niece! At her age, I think waiting to see how she feels after a while would be a really good idea. In this state they have to reside with you for a year before permanent custody is granted, I believe. I don't know what your state requires, but you will be governed by the laws of your state, not hers, once she comes to live with you, I think. That's how it worked for me. My grandson came from a different county, and once he came to live with me he came under the jurisdiction of my county. Also, his other grandparents lived in another state, and could not be considered because my state did not want to give over the jurisdiction to the other state. But they had an alternative - me! :) PTL! I love him to death and can't imagine where I'd be without him! :)
Wishing you all the best!