I was placed for adoption at birth. My birth mother, Emily, was a beautiful young woman who was faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Despite some drama getting to my actual birth, she chose adoption for me.
I Am Adopted
I do not remember when I found out I was adopted. It was just something I always knew. My parents never hid that from my brothers and me. My three brothers were also adopted. Growing up, all I had from my birth mother was a letter that she had written me right after I was born. I had no idea what she looked like. However, one thing my mother always instilled in me was how much she loved me. “You are extra loved,” she would say. Emily wrote me a beautiful letter about how she wanted a better life for me. Even though I did not know all the details about why she chose adoption, I did not need to know. I knew that she loved me, and that was all I needed to know.
You Are Extra Loved
Growing up adopted never bothered me. I had this innate sense of self. Kids would sometimes be hurtful and say mean things, but it did not bother me. My parents had ingrained such a deep understanding that being adopted meant I was extra loved. It meant that I had someone out there that was constantly thinking of me, loving me from afar. I knew that I was special. Even though I had never met Emily, I felt her love. I could feel the love and prayers filling my life every single day. I never questioned her love for me because I could always feel it and my parents never let me forget it.
Deciding When to Meet Her
First time meeting Emily in person
I always knew that Emily would be easy to find. My mom had ensured that I could locate her easily when I was ready to meet her. I had planned to meet her when I graduated high school, but for some reason, it never happened. As my life progressed and things got bad for me, I ended up with my own unplanned pregnancy. After choosing adoption for my own son, I decided it was time to meet Emily. She knew exactly what I was going through because she had done the same thing! I knew that I needed her love and support. I had felt her love for years, and it was time for me see that love. With the love and support of my parents, I was given Emily’s phone number and braced to call her for the first time.
Calling My Birth Mom
I do not think I have ever been so nervous to call someone. I was not nervous because I thought she would reject me. I was nervous because it was a pivotal moment in my life. I knew that once we spoke on the phone, my life would never be the same. When Emily and I first talked, it was surreal. I had always wanted to meet this woman. This woman sacrificed for me and gave me my wonderful life. It is hard to explain the gratitude you feel for someone who gave you such a wonderful gift.
She was completely understanding of my situation. She answered almost every question I had. The only ones she did not answer were the ones she could not remember. I found out some information about my birth father, and I was able to find out all the events that lead to my birth. She wanted me to control the conversation. I specifically remember her saying, “So what questions do you have?” I remember how full my heart felt. She wanted to ensure that all my questions were answered. She wanted to ensure that I continued to have that sense of self that I had experienced my entire life. That first conversation had led to meeting in person, to my wedding, to many lasting memories.
Emily has played a great role in my life. I love talking with her and knowing that I still have an extra person loving me. Because of her, I have a wonderful, fulfilling life. She continues to show me of the great selflessness that she had when she made that hard decision many years ago.
I love that I am adopted. I am lucky enough to have a mom and a birth mom. I am extra loved! It doesn’t get much better than that!