I Want It All

Honesty and openness can help us achieve what we truly want from life

Sonia Billadeau April 11, 2014
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“I want it all, I want it right now.” A line from a popular movie soundtrack- I have decided to write on the topic of depression. Society in general has an “I want it now” mentality.

There is a lot one could say about this- let’s look at it from where I am today…

You know what I want? I want to stand up and proudly say who I am. I don’t want to sugarcoat my life’s feelings and experiences, but I also want a positive outlook, I want to be more than a survivor. I was born to thrive.

As a birth parent I want acceptance, and as a woman I want unconditional love and friendship- no flakes accepted into my life.

I hate dishonesty. Let’s be open and share the thoughts we have on adoption, or on life in general. We were not made to hide behind a computer screen, but to interact with people and create relationships that make this world a worthwhile place.

And sometimes, let’s step out of the talking role, and just listen. The struggles an adoptive parent have may be the same ones a birth parent struggles with. It’s called common ground and indifference is the enemy.

I am in a challenging mood, meaning I am seeking feedback and honesty on my facebook page. Some days I post lame things, but today I challenged my friends with a status that on any other day would make me go hide in a closet-

“What is one thing you want more than anything else, in relation to your adoption experience and role as a birth parent?”

One friend wrote, “to love myself”, and another, “acceptance”, and another wrote these moving words: “I just want my son to know that I love him more than anything else in this world & I would do anything for him. I hope as he gets older he knows that.”

She is going to see her birth son tonight, which is so awesome, and I honestly think and believe that he will know how much she loves him.

Our love was not squandered when we chose adoption. It was planted and grows with each milestone and each first step, tooth, etc. It grows with each moment of every day.

As I leave to face the day and everything it holds, I hope you find what you really, truly want and that you’re able to have an open and honest dialog with someone you need to talk to.

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Sonia Billadeau


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