THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT SAY TO YOUR ADOPTED CHILD

There are things you shouldn't say to ANY child ... but very specific things you should avoid saying to your adopted child. The questions in this quiz come from Tom Andriola's article: https://adoption.com/6-things-you-should-not-say-t...

1. Why should you not tell a child "You should be grateful" ?

Because they already are grateful

Because you don't know if they would have been in a better or worse situation if not for adoption

Because they should be able to choose how they feel for themselves

None of the above

2. True or False: Adoption can be traumatic

True

False

3. Why should you never tell your adopted child "You're lucky"

Because that's pretty self-centered as his adoptive parent!

Because luck has nothing to do with it

Because you're messing with his feelings

None of the above

4. Why should you not tell your adopted child "We chose you" ?

Because they want to be the ones doing the choosing

Because it sounds like the child is a commodity

Because you and your child were matched for a variety of reasons, including timing-not simply choice

None of the above

5. According to Tom, why shouldn't you tell your adopted child, "It was meant to be" ?

Because there's no such thing as fate

Because s/he might not be happy in your family

Because that makes them feel out of control

None of the above

6. Instead of telling your adopted child, "You were wanted" what should you tell them?

I love you

You were needed

You light up my life

None of the above

7. According to Tom, why should you not tell your adopted child "Your biological mother wanted what was best for you" ?

Because you really don't know that's true

Because no matter how much you do know, you can't know everything about the situation

Because that will confuse your child

Number 1 and Number 2

8. True or False: According to Tom, instead of making black and white statements to your adopted child, it's better to ask them about their experiences

True

False