Remarkable Family Shares Foster Adoption Journey

The Jacksons hoped that someday they would adopt. But for so long it was just a hope. They knew adoption was costly, and just hoped that they could eventually work it out. It came as a complete surprise when Keikilani’s friend shared her adoption through foster care experience and she learned how very affordable it is. “I had no idea that getting a foster care license and adopting from foster care would cost so little! Within one month of that conversation, we were at an orientation for foster care and adoption. It was thrilling to find out that unlike overseas adoption, we could help the kids in my very own city and I wouldn't have to take out a loan to do it! My friend also told me that her caseworker was basically begging for new foster families. Especially families willing to take in sibling groups.”

When beginning the foster care experience, for some it is hard to know who and how you can best help. Keikilani’s experience is a good model for all: “We talked extensively before our license was open about the children we felt we would be able to help and bring into our family. Realistically, we are not equipped for certain situations. Some of these children have had major trauma and some have severe medical needs, they need a good home, and they need us to be honest about our family’s limitations. I actually said no to the first 3 calls we received asking for us to take children. One call we received was for another set of twins. They had suffered much trauma. And we knew that our home would not be the healing environment they would need. So even though my heart broke for them, I said no. It is hard to make a decision on these calls within sometimes 15 minutes about hearing the situation. It is so important to know ahead of time what you should say no to. And stick with those decisions no matter how much your heart breaks.”

When the call came, asking the Jacksons if they could care for a set of newborn twin girls, they knew it would be a good fit. They picked up the babies from the NICU and began their official foster parent experience. When parental rights were terminated, they began the process of adopting the girls AND their older sibling, who had been in foster care for two years.

Now, a family of eight – three biological children and three adopted children, the Jackson household is fun and crazy and loving. “Right now we are in our final stages of adoption. Our children are thriving in a consistent home environment! We love being a large crazy family. It is a lot of work, but so much fun. My children will never have a lack of playmate options. We spend as much time as possible playing outside and letting the kids explore the world. Our family is full and complete. But we are not done advocating for the children in the foster care system.”

Part of advocating includes sharing their personal stories. “Our situation is not the normal story of foster care. I have learned that there is no "normal" storyline you can predict or follow when working through the foster care system. Even the experienced social workers' predictions are often inaccurate, because every situation and family is different. That is probably the hardest thing to wrap your head around. There is no deadline or date that cannot be changed, moved, or ignored. We had originally planned on doing straight adoption, but our area was desperate for families. After four calls from our agency asking for our help in taking children in foster care we knew we couldn't say no any more to fostering first. It was a risk to love children who may be going home in a few weeks or several months. But these babies needed us to take that risk.”